Earl and Randy pull up at the bridge, where they see a woman standing, facing the other direction, with a pink wig. Randy asks Earl how he smells ("not great"), if he has boogers ("three mediums and a large") and how his breath is ("Fritos, and I'm gonna say, olives"). Randy doesn't fix any of this, but just says, "Let's do this." He walks over and says, "Pinky." She turns and it's Joy. They can't believe they're looking at each other, but Randy flashes back to young Pinky saying "Oh, snap" as her ice cream drops off the cone, her rock doesn't skip, and her hat flies into the lake while they're paddle-boating. He echoes the sentiment.
Joy asks what the hell is going on, and Earl's all, "Joy?!" Joy thinks they're playing a trick on her and wants to know where Skipper is. Randy says he is Skipper. He even has the note she wrote him, which he carries in his wallet. He shows her the note, and she's shocked. He asks why she didn't show up on the bridge that night, and she wonders what he's talking about, since he broke up with her. He says he didn't, but she says he did -- in the note from him that his brother gave her. Earl explains in voiceover that it didn't occur to him that Pinky would be Joy in a wig (because apparently none of them have seen childhood pictures of each other), but he knew this would end badly, because of his own role in it all. Basically, he was tired of doing chores and back-fat fanning for Aunt Gail by himself. He was miserable and jealous. So he wrote the break-up note to Pinky and never told Randy. When he delivered the note to Pinky (which was mean and even ended with "I hate you"), he did try to kiss Pinky, but she kicked him in the crotch and called him a pedophile.
Back in the present, Randy asks Earl how he could do that, since she was his first love. Joy's all "Love? It was just chilly on the lake and you blocked the wind." Randy takes off, as Earl tries to holler apologies at him. But Randy drives away and leaves him. Earl asks Joy for a ride. Joy says, "Whatever," because now that she knows she's been dreaming about kissing Randy all these years, she's questioning her taste in everything: "Is Darnell really hot? Are Christians really the best? Maybe I don't even like Sinbad." They pass Bernie rubbing his nose against a tree on their way to her car.
When Earl gets back to the hotel room, Randy's sawing their mattress in half. [Side-to-side, of course. -Z] He says he's not sleeping next to him anymore, or taking care of him. Earl can cut his own toenails and trim his own nose hairs from now on. Randy crazily says, "I can't wait to have a front row seat to that trainwreck." Earl says Randy's being crazy, and Randy says he'll show him crazy. He brings the saw over and pushes it up to Earl's neck. Earl reminds him they're brothers and he's the only one who knows how to write a check. Randy backs off and Earl picks up a beer bottle off the nightstand, apparently to use to defend himself? [I think he's betting on Randy not having the nerve to saw through a beer bottle. - Z] Randy wants to know why this isn't on Earl's list. He asks why Earl would spend so much time teaching him to blow a bubble, when he could have been making up for this. Earl was too ashamed to put it on there, but it's on the list now at number 277: "Broke up Randy and Pinky." He's going to make up for this before he does anything else. He asks Randy how he can make this right, and Randy says he wants to make out with Pinky. Earl can't believe he'd want to make out with Joy, who's so mean to him. Randy says that Earl took away the only woman who ever loved him. (Um, show? Remember Catalina?) He knows that Joy looks mean on the outside, and is mean on the inside, but somewhere inside that is Pinky, and Randy wants to touch that part of her with his tongue. Earl needs to make that happen to cross him off.