Earl voices over that getting Joy to make out with Randy is going to be the hardest thing he's ever had to do. He even drinks the old nightstand beer as he thinks about it. The first thing he's going to do is get permission from Darnell. Darnell says it's okay with him, since Skipper was part of Joy's pre-nup. We flash back to Darnell proposing with a barbershop quartet. She says yes, and then quickly asks if they can figure out their freebies. Hers is her first love, a guy named Skipper. He asks what a freebie is, and she explains it's who they can still have sex with if they get the chance -- and anything goes, even no condom. Which is way too much information. Then she's all, "We're getting married!" Back in the present, Darnell can't believe Joy's freebie was Randy; it makes him feel better about picking Anna Nicole Smith. Earl's all, "Yeah, she got pretty fat." Darnell's like, "She's dead." Earl thinks he's joking to get back at Earl for messing with him. But, obviously, he's not kidding. They toast to Anna Nicole, "one of the good ones."
Earl moves on to Joy, who thinks he's out of his mind asking her to kiss Randy. She insists she won't do it as she stuffs a turkey with Doritos. [That sounds heavenly. - Z]Joy sees Dodge outside with Eugenia's daughter, and tells Earl that if he can break them up, she will allow Randy to kiss her "with his slimy, Cheeto-covered, cow-sized tongue." She practically dry-heaves while saying it, but then tells Earl she's had worst things in her mouth.
Earl gives Tiffany the same type of letter he gave Pinky, only in addition to "I hate you," he's added, "You smell like poo." He tells Tiffany he's sorry, but he's just the messenger for Dodge. She cries, so he hugs her and tells her not to tell anyone about this, that it can be their little secret. Another neighbor comes out and sees this happening and yells "Pedophile!" and kicks him in the crotch. He crawls away.
Now that Dodge and Tiffany are broken up, Joy meets Randy at the bridge. He calls her Pinky, but she calls him Randy. He brought orange soda, which he remembers as her favorite. And he has a stereo with Bobby Brown on it, as he also remembers he was her favorite. And he brought tic-tac-toe for them to play, since their record stands at Pinky 87, Skipper 0. Joy tells Randy it's been 20 years, and that she traded in orange soda for strawberry wine when she was 13 and stopped listening to Bobby Brown once he started picking doody out of Whitney Houston. She gives him mouthwash and tells him how to use it. He says he knows what it is, and that he and Earl used to drink it when their dad locked up the liquor cabinet, but then drinks it and spits it out. He says it's not mouthwash, and she admits it's actually rubbing alcohol, bleach and green food coloring, because she wanted to actually kill whatever lives in his mouth. She opens her mouth and he heads toward it with his tongue. It's gross, but he stops it, saying this is stupid. She tells him to get it over with, but he says it's not about the kiss. He's trying to feel something he felt when they were kids, but it's not going to happen. Ever again. He sulks off.