The agents lead the Turners into an igloo, where Joy calls them Eskimos, but Agent Orientation says that their people prefer to be called Inuits. He tells her to go ahead and try to out herself here, since the caribou will be most intrigued. She takes his scarf, and notices fingernail scratch marks. Joy is better at spotting an affair than anyone, so she puts together the scratch marks, the Luther Vandross "chick wood" music, a missing earring she noticed on Lady Agent, and a mussed tie on Agent Orientation. She asks if they're going to figure out a new place to live, or if she needs to involve supervisors and spouses. Next thing we know, she's all dressed in gold in front of a giant cookie-cutter-style mansion that's someplace warm with palm trees. She's Goldie Crystal, and she hugs her family.
Zeke and Earl are trying to figure out who burned the T-shirts, and Randy says it was him. Earl thought he wasn't jealous, and he says he wasn't, but he's sick of hanging out with Arlo. He turns and insults Arlo, saying he's from the state of "Douche-achusetts." Arlo's all, "That's not even a state." Randy tells Arlo under his breath to be the little brother who needs protecting. So he does. And then Zeke comes up and defends Arlo from Randy. At which point, Earl defends Randy from Zeke. Zeke asks about his precious list, and Earl says if he has to choose between Randy and his list, Randy wins (I'm not sure this is always true, but I think it's part of the story here). Zeke says he chooses his brother over a friend. Zeke and Arlo walk off.
In voiceover, Earl says he didn't mind seeing them walk off, because he pushed them together. We flashback to Earl and Zeke talking at karaoke. Earl wants to bring Arlo and Randy next time; maybe they can sing Endless Love. Zeke says he and Arlo just don't click like Randy and Earl, who he compares to Venus and Serena Williams. Earl looks contemplative, and then says, "I know one of those is a planet, but I don't know who that other dude is." Hee. He then explains that two brothers clicking doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of work to be a big brother.
He explains in voiceover that little brothers like jokes, so he always has lots of good ones to tell Randy. We flashback to the same snail joke, but we see that Earl had been reading a joke book when Randy walked in. Then he tells Zeke that you need to act like you need help with stuff, and we see that Earl was actually awake when Randy trimmed his moustache, but pretending to be asleep. I'm not sure that one works, really, because it's weird that he's asleep, but whatever. Earl says you also need to protect your little brother. We get the butt-slapping incident, but we see that when Earl walked toward the guy, he paid him to leave them alone and act scared. Back at the Crab Shack, Earl tells Zeke that if he does these things, Arlo will change, like a caterpillar into a butterfly. Or something less girly, like a Transformer car into a Transformer robot. Zeke likes Transformers, so he's in. And the incident at the trailer required Earl telling Zeke to go protect his little brother. In voiceover, Earl says Zeke got all protector-ish, and then he did, too, and it all worked out. Then Randy's voiceover says, "And Earl and Zeke never had a clue we'd set 'em up."