Earl hates people. (Hey! He’s more like me than I thought.) Randy loves them. But Earl keeps getting his bad neighbors moved to a new room, until he ends up next to an apparent bomb-building terrorist named Lloyd (a.k.a. Malakai). Turns out Earl and Joy created Lloyd, though, by selling him a lemon car -- after souping it up with an egg in the radiator and “AIRBAG” written on the steering wheel, among other things. And that just happens to be on Earl’s list. It takes Joy recognizing Lloyd before Earl remembers who he is, though (because Joy’s the one who actually did the car salesman work back in the day).
In B plot territory, Joy is trying to disprove evolution for Dodge’s science project so that he can win $500, which she would use to buy a necklace that Jane Seymour’s been advertising on TV. She thinks she’s proven it when her fish walks out of the water, but Darnell points out it’s a tadpole, which will turn into a frog. And a new pet is born for Darnell, I think, because he named it “Mr. Frog,” just like “Mr. Turtle.” And he looked utterly gleeful looking at the little creature. Joy realizes she can’t disprove evolution, and thinks she’ll never get that Jane Seymour necklace!
Ultimately, our storylines come together when Earl runs toward danger to try to save people from the bomb, and Lloyd realizes that not all people are scum. (The fact that Earl is the person who proves this to him is a little sad; I’m sure he can find a better person. Such as Randy, even.) That's when Earl learns that Lloyd isn’t building a bomb; just a rocket ship to fly away from the horrible people on Earth. So he doesn’t need the rocket ship anymore... which is how Dodge wins the science fair: by pretending he built it. Turns out he gets a savings bond instead of cash, though, which makes Darnell happy. But he wanted Joy happy, too, so he bought her the stupid necklace. But when he tries to get all science-y on her and explain how diamonds are made, she proves once again that he is a saint for putting up with her by telling him not to be a turd in the sandbox. Stay classy, Joy!
Earl starts us out with a voiceover telling us how annoying the neighbors have been at the hotel. His example, a guy named Cappie (not the good kind), who tells stories about his dog eating Halloween candy and saying that he doesn't work on Sunday, "the Lord's day." Then he realizes it wasn't Halloween candy, but Valentine chocolates. It's extremely boring, but not the worst thing in the world. And Randy loves it, so if Earl were really as nice as this whole karma thing implies, he'd probably just put up with it. But he won't, and luckily Catalina is there to help: She tells Cappie his room has toxic mold, and moves him to a new wing. Worst opening segment of the show ever. I didn't even come close to laughing.
Later, Randy asks Earl to explain why Cappie's in the east wing. Earl says it's something about "toxic moles," but Randy's not buying it. He knows Earl got rid of him, just like he did with the guy with the illegal penguin. This leads to a very fun segment of Earl saying that penguin was a jerk, and then impersonating said penguin with a flit flit flit noise with his mouth, while moves his hands in a motion that signals penguin feet. You really have to see it to get the humor in this one. Earl found the penguin annoying because it made the noises all day long, and because the guy kept the penguin in the ice machine at night. Earl could taste it. [That line made me laugh out loud. - Zach] Randy misses Cappie, but Earl says they're better off without him.
Right at this moment, their new neighbor knocks on the door, all ominous and hooded. And it's Malachai from the scariest movie of my life, Children of the Corn. He wants to know why Earl and Randy are in his room, and Earl says his room must be next door, but the guy said his key opened this door. He's seriously creepy, with his chimo hooded sweatshirt and taped-up rapist glasses. Earl says the locks and keys were all bought at a swap meet, so the keys work in every door, and various kitchen utensils also can open the doors. Earl welcomes the chimo to the neighborhood, and the guy heads to his room. Randy congratulates Earl on bringing the guy who likely has the least funny stories in the universe. But Earl doesn't want stories; just quiet. Randy wants to know how Earl likes quiet in a brother. He is quiet for all of ten seconds and then asks how Earl likes it. Earl says to give him a few hours.