My Name Is Earl

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The Gangs Of Camden County

Earl's still in prison. And a big sign on the outside of the prison proclaims that this unit has been assault-free for zero days! I think that would have been funnier if it said something like four days, and then a fight broke out right in front of the sign, and the world's weariest prison guard walked over with one of those big poles with the hook on the end like you used to open the windows in elementary school and changed it back to zero while heaving a big sigh. Earl VOs that it's difficult to complete even the simplest tasks in prison, as he struggles to cut his toenails with some clippers until a guard confiscates them. The guard explains that last year, an inmate used a set of nail clippers to cut off another inmate's arm, and it took a week and a half. Hey, a nip here, a nip there, amputation! The guard remembers that he's supposed to take Earl to see the warden.

Meanwhile, remember when Randy stole a car to try to get into prison with Earl? Despite yelling, "I'm stealing a car! Come and get me!" as he drove off, Randy couldn't get arrested. Randy's next brilliant idea involves walking up to a cop at a police station and pretending to be the Truck Stop Killer. Problem is, that perp was already detained (see, I know the cop lingo). Then Randy pretends he painted some nearby graffiti, but the cop is so impressed with the artistry that he asks Randy to paint his baby's room. What is he, Spencer Pratt, with the graffiti mural? Randy is out of ideas (which didn't take long), so he just slaps the cop across the face, which is enough to get him hauled downtown (or down the street, as the case may be.)

Joy and Crab Man visit Randy in the holding cell. Joy tells Randy that it's a long shot that he would ever get sent to prison, and asks if he knows the odds that he would get sent to the same prison as Earl anyway. Randy does know: "Seven. Seven going to prisons. [Pause. Dumb look with tongue hanging out of mouth.] Twelve?" Joy tells him that doesn't make sense and promises to bail him out since she promised Earl she'd take care of him. Crab Man (who is looking a bit more buff these days) says that his uncle slapped a cop once and got twelve years in the pen. Crab Man: "Guess what color he was?" Randy: "Lucky? [beat] Oh, that's not a color."

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My Name Is Earl

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