This week's list item: Earl destroyed Randy's dream of being a cheerleader when they were kids -- although, he actually didn't destroy the dream; he just made fun of Kenny. But that's enough for the show's writers, who wanted to send Randy and Earl to cheerleading camp. It's not just any cheerleading camp: It's Kimmi Himmler's cheer camp. Kimmi is Jenna Elfman, but with a severely scarred face and an apparently rotten eye (I thought it was fake, but we later learn it drips "eye milk"; disgusting!), from a freak cheerleading-badger accident. We all know that's one of the greatest risks of being a cheerleader. Turns out Randy's the Best. Cheerleader. Ever. Which makes Kimmi's daughter jealous, so Kimmi threatens to kick them out of camp for being adults. But then Earl has sex with lonely, scarred Kimmi to keep them in camp. It's disturbing in every imaginable way.
In Joy Land, she's trying to convince Dodge to be in love with her instead of with Catalina. She dresses in sexy lingerie to read him his bedtime story, and Darnell tells her it's not normal for a mom to want her son to think she's sexy. Turns out she's just sad that he'll need another woman and eventually won't need her at all, so Darnell drops a fan on Dodge to get him to need Joy. Dodge runs to Joy and gets a Mommy hug. Awwww.
Joy and Darnell show up with a video camera and a bus of Camdenites at Earl and Randy's cheer camp competition, giving Earl temporary stage fright. He eventually decides to go on anyway to be there for Randy like Randy's always been for him. And it is hilarious and awesome -- partially because of "Preggers," "Head Gear," "Chunk," and "Black Girl" (Randy's names for the rest of the Camden cheerleaders), but mostly because of Earl and Randy. Even Joy's impressed. Important lessons are learned, and all that. Lessons such as: Don't make fun of male cheerleaders for having a vagina. Follow your dreams. Try new things. And strawberries taste good. Or something like that.
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Crab Shack. Darnell's classing up the place, and apparently this means dessert, which he said was easier than trying to get rid of the smell. So classy! Randy thinks the strawberry shortcake looks good; doesn't Earl agree? Huh? Does he? Um, no, Randy. Earl hates strawberries and wants the German chocolate cake. Randy hates strawberries, too, actually, and didn't realize that's what was in strawberry shortcake. Chocolate sounds better to him anyway, and German is one of his favorite flavors. Oh, Randy, you're so dumb and endearing. Sometimes I think this show should be called My Name is Randy. Maybe they can do an episode like that, changing the credits and everything, with Randy voiceovers and stuff instead of Earl's. It worked for Scrubs. A few times, actually.
Meanwhile, just across the Crab Shack, Joy's boys are finishing their homework. She asks them not to do too well, because she needs summer school for the free daycare. Between Joy and Darnell, the class just oozes out of that family, don't you think? Earl Jr. tells her he has to draw something he thinks is beautiful for art class, but he can't think of anything. She tells him to draw a butterfly, a rainbow, or the small of Denzel Washington's back. Dodge tells her he already drew something beautiful, and it's Catalina! Joy is pissed. She asks Dodge to please tell her someone slipped him a shot of vodka. Joy should really write a parenting book, I think. One in which she teaches children to love sensual parts of older male actors and advocates child drunkenness.
At the bar a bunch of Camdenites are watching a cheerleading competition on TV. And then they start making fun of a male cheerleader. Which reminds Earl of something on his list. We flashback to the time Earl found a flier for cheerleading tryouts in Kenny's backpack and gave him crap, then Randy stuffed a sock in his mouth, making him too ashamed to try out. Back in the present, Randy points out that Earl's already crossed Kenny off the list -- by making him gay -- so this really isn't necessary. Which is exactly what I was thinking. Should it scare me that Randy and I had the same thought? Because it really does. But Earl says "Always picked on Kenny" and "Kept Kenny from his dream of cheerleading" are entirely different list items. I'd like to argue with this, because picking on him is what kept him from the dream of cheerleading. Does this mean that everything in Kenny's life that might have been affected by any of Earl's abuse is going to be on the list? Or that they're running out of ideas that don't involve Camdenites? Or that they want to use these recurring characters they have (who really are good, so I can't fault them there)? Maybe the writers should have come up with someone other than Kenny here, though, since our twist will reveal Kenny's not exactly the cheerleading type anyway, so it wasn't necessary to have it be him. If Kenny gets two list items, though, Randy wants the two times that Earl made him drink toilet water to be two separate list items. Earl doesn't have time to reply before Joy walks up and squirts Catalina with ketchup. Catalina's shocked, and asks what's wrong with Joy. Joy tells her to keep talking and she'll cut off that hair. Then, as she walks away, she sobs, "That beautiful, beautiful hair." Remember back in the early days of this show, when Catalina had actual story lines of her own that were funny, instead of being stuck as the pretty girl who just sits at a table in the Crab Shack with Randy and Earl? Yeah, me too. I miss that Catalina.