My Own Worst Enemy

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Mindy Monez: B | Grade It Now!
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A nerdy tech guy comes in and whisks Edward out of the room, asking how the mission went and if Edward has any "continuity issues," like knife or bullet wounds. Edward says no, but that he cut himself shaving, "under the chin, left of center." The tech man goes to work in front of a computer system that is as futuristic sci-fi as all get out. He starts programming boring business trip memories like a fat, snoring airplane passenger, hotel porn, crappy dinners, etc. He asks Edward if he's ready to go to sleep, to which Edward answers, "Does it matter?" Then Edward kind of blacks out for a second and wakes up in the elevator a boring man named Henry Spivey.

The elevator opens and hey! It's Mindy Sterling! She greets Henry with an office folder and asks him how "Akron" was. He repeats all of the memories nerdy tech man just programmed into his brain, and she tells him he has an appointment with a very attractive doctor this afternoon. He unconvincingly denies that he finds her attractive, and Mindy Sterling wistfully says something about love in French, which gives Henry pause, because his brain chip is malfunctioning and he sort of remembers being in Paris yesterday.

Cut to attractive Dr.'s office, who turns out to be the fabulous Saffron Burrows, of Boston Legal and The Bank Job fame. [Why does everyone always gloss over Wing Commander? - Zach] Henry explains that he had a dream the other night that he was a spectator in his own body, and that someone in this dream called him Edward. Uh-oh. Saffron Burrows is clearly in on the ruse, so she goes to work debunking his fears that this dream may have been reality, but wait, he has proof! A matchbook from the hotel in Paris that Edward forgot to take out of his pocket before becoming Henry. "Ever bring home a souvenir from a dream, doc?" Saffron Burrows is totally screwed. [Just like when she was in Wing Commander! - Zach]

Henry's suburban tract home. He is greeted by his daughter who makes no fuss over Henry's return from his business trip because "he goes away for two days every two days." He has two children, but one of them, a teenage boy, is a completely different ethnicity than his parents, so I'm sure we'll hear something about that down the road. The family is way happy and functional-seeming, though. It's kind of freaking me out.

Later that night, Henry is in bed reading a book I don't recognize, and a Google search of the author's name, Brennan Dyson, largely brings up results of a Star Trek stuntman, so I'm guessing it's not a real book. But that's not what's important right now. His eyes go blurry for a few seconds, and bam! He is suddenly Edward. He looks around confusedly, taking some time to check out Henry's sleeping wife (read: smack her on the ass). He calls nerdy tech man, who tells him they don't have protocol for these kinds of situations, which is clearly a lie, because he tells Edward he'll give him an hour to watch baseball highlights, then he has to go back to sleep. Then he calls Alfre Woodard to ask if he should "initiate termination protocols," which I can only assume is some kind of SD-6-like agent assassination policy. She takes a pause before deciding, "No." Arvin Sloane she most certainly is not.

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My Own Worst Enemy

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