My Own Worst Enemy

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Mindy Monez: B | Grade It Now!
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I'm OK, You're OK

He doesn't get very far before one of the thugs finds him and shoots him in the bullet-proof-vested chest twice, which knocks him out (is that possible? I honestly don't know), and we're at our first commercial break. I am still scared!

Back from commercial! The thugs are dunking Henry's head in the toilet! Rude. Uzi thinks this brand of torture is a little 8th grade, and punishes his men by forcing them to almost shoot each other. It's complicated, but it basically boils down to a scare tactic. Uzi then gets to questioning Edward, except this is Henry, who is terrified and obviously doesn't know anything. Uzi is really pissed off, thinking that Edward is yanking his chain. He puts on a plastic raincoat to shield him from the rivers of blood he is about to drain from Henry with a butcher knife, when a lil' roach trap-looking thing slides under the door. Uzi wisely deems it to be a bomb, and dives into the other room with his men, leaving Henry to sizzle. The device seemingly malfunctions, and Uzi laughs over to Henry, "Lucky bas--" when the room he's in explodes. Ahh, the old roach trap-looking explosives bait and switch! Maxwell Smart fell for it every time.

A Delta Force guy with a ski mask runs in to extract Henry. They run through the building in slow mo, DF man shooting all thugs who dare get in their path. Henry is really unhappy about this whole thing, but he's going with it because he doesn't want to die.

They rush into an SUV outside, and the DF man pulls off his mask to reveal himself as Tom, a.k.a. Mike O'Malley. Henry's mind explodes at this. "Tom?!" "Where are we? [At the passing street signs] Is that Russian?! Are we in Russia?!" All Tom gives him is a very annoyed, "My name's not Tom!" He explains that his name is not Tom, it is Raymond. Then he switches gears in less than a second and calls Tom's wife, all boring suburban husband-sounding, explaining that his business trip has to be extended. I would postulate that maybe he was once in Henry's position, and that Tom is a fake personality like Henry is, but Raymond's just being so damned insensitive to Henry that I don't think that's the case. Time will tell, if this thing doesn't get canceled. They get out and transfer to a Russian jalopy, and Raymond puts Henry in a secret compartment underneath the truck bed's floorboards. He quiets Henry's fears by explaining that if anything happens to him, Henry will agonizingly suffocate and die in there. Henry doesn't need a spy; he needs a bartender.

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My Own Worst Enemy

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