In the master bedroom, Camille is trying out the stair-stepper, and Patty is musing, "It's this working together -- it's pushing us apart. God, that sounds like a Redbook article." Camille, apparently carrying on another conversation, says, "Listen. If you've gotta cut it, CUT IT, you know? But let's face it -- men like long hair." "Who cares what they like?" Patty mutters, unconvincingly, and making it even less convincing by adding, "But they supposedly like variety, don't they?" Camille firmly says, "They like long hair, and they like for you to wear red." Patty asks, "But don't they supposedly like it if you show up looking different?" Camille says nothing, and Patty groans, "Oh, God -- shoot me, will you?" She walks to the doorway of the bathroom and Camille reaches for a porcelain figure and exclaims, "Look! Your Cinderella! I remember when your dad gave you this! I was so jealous. I was twelve. And you were eleven." "And I wore my hair exactly like this," Patty says. Camille wearily says, "Look, they say if you want to put the romance back in your marriage --" "I hate that expression -- like romance is this thing you misplaced, like an earring!" Patty snaps. They wander back downstairs; Patty's on a roll: "And all that stuff they tell you to do: 'Put rose petals on his pillow.' Oh, I will. Let me just empty this kitty litter -- I'll be right with you. 'Wear satin panties.' Like my dry-cleaning bill isn't frightening enough. 'Force your husband into a car and don't tell him where you're going.' I do that every other weekend -- it's called 'visiting my parents.'" Camille snickers, and asks, "Didn't Jane Seymour write a book about that?" Patty snorts, "Ah. Yes. And now she's divorced." Camille says, "Oh, but she's remarried. She's that Medicine Woman. And is her hair long or short?" Patty mutters, "She's got a new show, new husband...probably all new children." Camille confesses, "Listen, Andy and I have been doing this thing. It's kind of embarrassing, but it's really fun! And you get to be with other people. And it really puts you in the mood." Patty asks, "Is it legal?" Camille says, "The only catch is that you have to wear heels." Are they swingers? Well, in a sense.
"Ballroom dancing?" Graham asks, coming out of the kitchen with a platter of pasta. Mmmm. Patty says that Camille insists that ballroom dancing is really fun. Graham snorts, "Camille thinks velcro's fun." His brother Neil, sitting at the table, starts sarcastically defending velcro and its many uses, and Danielle "Space Filler" Chase asks him to pass the pasta. Neil asks her what the magic word is, and she says, "Pasta." Neil says, "No, pasta is the magic carbohydrate," and asks her again for the magic word. Danielle rolls her eyes, and Neil gives up the pasta. Okay, in my house, the "please" would have been second nature. I can't not say "please," now. And second, if I'd ever, at the age of ten, willfully declined to say it, I wouldn't have been rewarded with the dish. And people wonder why manners are so undervalued these days. Angela beams at Neil, and AVO says, "Neil is my father's younger brother. He isn't married. Whenever he comes to dinner, my parents give him all these leftovers to take home, like they don't have food where he is." Patty says, "You know, I know that ballroom dancing sounds like something we wouldn't normally do --" "It sounds like something no one would normally do." Patty's face hardens, and Angela says, "It does! It sounds made up or something!" Neil says that was exactly what he was thinking, and they joke back and forth a bit, and Graham smiles, and Patty gets crankier, and says, "So I'm thinking of getting my hair cut short." Danielle and Angela both tell her not to do it, and Angela, adds, "Mom, just 'cause I changed my hair doesn't mean you should."