Props to all the propworthies, as per usual.
Go. Now. Go.
Angela runs really awkwardly at the end of the credits, which is authentic I think. Jordan's short hair looks goofy. Felicity stole a lot of things from this show, and the wordless opening credit music tops the long long list, which also includes Devon Gummersall, and the voice-over monologue about how it's, like, so weird that people just, like, have sex (see upcoming recaps).
We look out at Angela "Movie Career Going The Way Of Chevy" Chase through the eyes of a jack-o-lantern as AVO tells us, "When I was little I, like, worshipped Halloween. Truthfully, part of me still does. It's your one chance all year to be someone else." Patty comes in and offers Angela her flapper dress, and Angela says, "Why do you ask me everything, like, ten times? I said no." I guess it's her chance to be anyone else except for a flapper. AVO reveals that Angela's too scared to wear a real costume to school anyway, but out loud she says, "I just don't see the point of wearing a costume." Danielle comes in, whining as usual: "Mom, I can't be Catwoman. Sherry Hickey is gonna be Catwoman, And she's, like, developed." Graham, dressed in the sloppy robe and slipper ensemble of the newly unemployed, says he thought Sherry Hickey was going to be Madonna. Danielle points out that Madonna peaked, which is funny to hear six years later, when everyone still cares that she just broke up with some guy -- what was he, British? A filmmaker, right? He was like ten years younger than her. Anyway, some guy named Boyd calls, and Danielle asks, "Is that the guy Mom hired to replace you?" And Graham says, "No one can replace me. And, yes." Patty is exasperated because Boyd is going to be late, again, due to an appointment with a chiropractor, again. I can understand being pissed if she thinks he's lying, but what if he has serious back problems? I hate Patty.
Danielle still wants to know what to be, and Angela suggest that she dress as a pain in the butt. Heh. Danielle says, "I'd be you. But nobody could find a mask that ugly." Zing! Patty follows the retreating Danielle and says, "Let this be a lesson to you not to leave things until the last minute." Um, Patty? Danielle was planning to be Catwoman, until that busty slut Sherry Hickey stole her idea. So, good lesson, if by "lesson" you mean "arbitrarily applied parental nonsense." I hate Patty. Anyway, Patty offers the flapper dress to Danielle, who also says she's turned it down ten times. Angela reminds her mom she's sleeping -- "At Rayanne's, I know, I said you could, don't ask me everything ten times," says Patty, triumphantly. I guess we're supposed to be impressed that she can be as obnoxious as her two children. The kids leave, probably to go find a new mom.
Left alone, Graham asks Patty if this Boyd guy is "working out." Patty, blah blah blah, he's not, and he apparently does have back problems. But Patty stops short to ask, "Wait a minute, what are we gonna be?" See, because Patty left this decision for the last minute, too. Graham asks, "When we grow up?" And as the point of this scene seems to be that Danielle, Angela, and Patty are all at basically the same maturity level, all I can say is: Bwahaha! But Patty says, "No, at Camille's costume party tonight!" Graham suggests that Patty wear the flapper dress. Patty, already upstairs, yells, "I hate that flapper dress!" Duh, Graham, that's why she tried to foist it on her daughters, just like she does with everything else hateful about her, like her neuroses.