My So-Called Life
In Dreams Begin Responsibilities

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Sars: A | 3 USERS: A+
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Choose Their Own Adventure

Back at Angela's desk, where Jordan continues to go down in sad, splendid, oblivious flames. The Embryos got back together, apparently, and picked a new name: "We're, uh, Residue now." Angela continues trying to ignore him, but finally leans back in her chair to give him an irritated "what do you want from me?" look, then interrupts him mid-sentence to ask why he's telling her all this. "I don't know," Jordan shrugs, and reminds her that she's the one who signed him up for tutoring in the first place. Angela gives him a baleful "don't remind me" glare and seems about to respond nastily when Sharon comes back over to her desk. Sharon looks at Angela all "hi -- ready to go?" and then looks at Jordan all "fuck off, jerkwad." Hee. I love Sharon. Jordan, stung: "Aw, forget it." He stomps off as Sharon fumes that "he had the nerve to, like, talk to you? I cannot believe him!" Angela rubs her forehead, and Sharon sighs, "Oh, Chase-face, you're, like, shaking!" Brian comes over and stands silently next to Sharon. She shoots him an "oh, for God's sake, Krakow, not now" look. He walks silently away. I love Sharon some more. Angela confesses that she "had that dream again last night," which reminds Sharon of what she dreamed about, but before she tells us, Mr. K asks Angela if she'll sell thirty tickets to Our Town. She dissembles, and he blusters that it's "thirty measly tickets," and Angela gives in all "okay, okay," and Mr. K says, and I quote: "Ha-huh HA ha ha! Great." I can't replicate that little laugh in words, unfortunately. I really wish Jeff Perry would turn up on a primetime show, because he rules. And hey, trivia alert! He directed "Betrayal," which I never knew before today. This show, people. Still surprising me. Sigh.

Anyhow, Angela gives Mr. K a "whaaaatever" look before commenting to Sharon that he "just wears you down," and Sharon confides apropos of nothing that she dreamed last night that she and Rayanne "were appearing in this water ballet together. For, like, charity." Angela raises a brow.

And here's what Sharon's dream means. Water stands for spirituality. Water ballet takes place in a pool, usually, and a pool means that the dreamer doesn't have a spiritual outlet; Sharon is conscientious to the point of anxiety, so that fits. Dance, by contrast, symbolizes heartfelt expression. So, add the presence of Rayanne in the dream…you get the gist. Rayanne stands for a freedom Sharon wishes she had, although we didn't need her dream to tell us that.

So, another student walks through the foreground, and we fade through the student's fugly shirt to Brian and Jordan at their tutoring session. Brian is giving Jordan his marching orders, something about a story that actually happened to Jordan and using certain vocab words in the story and blah; Jordan is slumped in his chair, chin on forearm, not listening. Brian says something about flashcards and Jordan bursts out with, "I blew it." Brian asks if that's part of the story (heh), and Jordan grumbles that he should forget about the story: "I can't think about some crappy story, my life sucks too much." Brian nods, going for "sympathetic" but taking a hard left at "inappropriately curious," and asks with studied informality, "Yeah, how come?" "'Cause, she…she hates me," Jordan mopes, adding that he deserves it. Brian nods some more. Jordan asks if Brian knows who he means; Brian uh-duhs that he does. Jordan tells Brian what happened earlier, that he "tried to explain to her…that I was, you know…sorry or whatever." "So what happened?" Nothing, Jordan says. Brian nods again, as if that's what he expected would happen. Jordan adds that he didn't know what to say, although when you look at that conversation as compared to all the others Jordan and Angela have had, he probably said more than he had in their other interactions combined, but in any case, Brian snips, "Say you're sorry." Jordan sighs, beleaguered. Brian stares at him, then asks incredulously, "Wait, you can go up to any girl and get her phone number, yet you're afraid to tell Angela Chase you're sorry?" "So?" Jordan brats. It's just ironic, Brian says. "Well so what?" Jordan defensives. Brian shrugs, prepared to drop the subject, but Jordan sucks it up and admits that he doesn't know what Brian's talking about: "What's 'ironic'?" Brian then proceeds to put generations of English grad students to shame with this trenchant definition: "Um…when you realize the, like, component of weirdness in a situation." Jordan, a light bulb sputtering to life over his pretty pretty head, sits forward in his chair: "Help me, Brain. H-help me figure out something good to say to Angela." Brian, a little too quickly: "No. Uh-uh. No." Jordan's about to ask why not; Brian tells him that he "did an undefendable thing" and nobody can change that, and it's like he created his own prison and now he has to exist in it. Jordan's nodding all "yeah, that's it," and tells Brian that "that's perfect" and he has to come up with "some more stuff like that," so Brian jumps up and near-shouts that he won't, "absolutely not." Another student shushes him, so he leans over the back of his chair and sputters that "the phonics manual does not cover that type of situation." Jordan, confused: "The…phonics manual?" As Jordan fixes him with an almost flirtatious look -- which opens up a whole new area of inquiry, if you know what I mean, and I think you do -- Brian informs him hotly that he, Brian, "cannot be involved." More quizzical, nearly tender staring from Jordan. Brian: "Whatever you say or don't say to Angela Chase is completely between you -- and her." There's a quick shift in Jared Leto's eyes here, and I can't decide if Jordan decides he doesn't want to argue with Brian anymore, period…or if he deduces from that exchange, finally, that Brian is in love with Angela. Because if Jordan knows that Brian loves Angela, and he uses him to win Angela back anyway, does that make him a complete dick? Does he figure that, if Brian volunteers to help, it's his own problem, not Jordan's? Does he believe, as Brian seems to, that Angela would have no interest in Brian in any case, so it's okay to proceed? It's part of Jordan as a character that he's difficult to read, so I can't say for sure, and I don't know if we'd ever have found out.

In any event, Jordan's all, "Fine, I'll do it myself," and Brian's all, "Fine, you do that," and Brian suggests that Jordan decide what to say to Angela while he does some calculus, and they can just "work independently." Jordan scribbles. Brian opens a book. Beat. Brian leans forward: "What have you got so far?"

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My So-Called Life

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