My So-Called Life
Life Of Brian

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Key Grip: D | 3 USERS: A+
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Life Of Brian

At Chase Place, Patty cranks up her internal criticism knob and checks out Graham's wallpapering progress and...zzzz...zzzzzzzzzzz...I MEAN, REALLY, PEOPLE, IS THIS ACTUALLY A SUBPLOT ABOUT GODDAMN WALLPAPER!? FOR THE FUCK-ASS LOVE OF JEROME! Sorry. Patty says, "Are those morning glories lining up? Because if they're even the slightest bit off that's all you're ever gonna see. Is that a bubble?" Graham says, "Patty, I tried every conceivable way to get rid of that bubble. It is there forever, it is part of our lives, it will outlive us all." Blah blah blah, Patty picked up a brochure for Adult Ed Cooking Classes. Graham seems kind of offended, because he's too good for Adult Ed, and would rather go full time to a Culinary Institute, which the Chases cannot afford. Patty points out, "This we can afford, so why are you closing your mind? Hoo ha hee." I'm serious, she does this weird semi-laugh at the end of the line. Meanwhile, she's trying to get rid of the bubble. Graham says he'll at least think about it.

Outside My So-Called High, Angela is getting hungry for a Hunkburger, so she heads over to Jordan Catalano's cool car. It's red. Angela launches into the script she has no doubt been rehearsing in her head, the point of which is to trick Jordan into asking her to the dance: "So did you hear about that thing, that they're going to, like, exterminate fourth period lunch?" He hasn't. Because he never learned to read. Oh, wait, no, she said "heard." Never mind. "It's just something people are obsessing about. It's like sometimes people fill their minds with all these stupid things, you know? To keep themselves from thinking about what's really important." Jordan ponders this, because the great thing about stupid people is that they are easily wowed by pithy clich├ęs. "Like this World Happiness Dance, I mean it's so stupid. I mean, what does that even mean, you know? Like if we dance the world is really gonna get happier? I mean, really, come on, I don't think so." Jordan says, "There's a dance?" Phase One is complete. Begin Phase Two. Angela says, "Yeah, there's like five hundred posters around school about it." Jordan pretends that this has slipped his mind, rather than escaped his notice because (here it is) he never learned to read. "I guess I kinda mean the idea of the dance is kinda false. I mean, I doubt I'm even going. I mean, I'm sure you're obviously not going. Right?" Phase Two complete. But Phase Three is shot down by Jordan's philosophy ("You have a philosophy?"), which is, "If I go somewhere, and someone I know is there, then cool, there's something natural about that. But once you start making plans, you start to have, like, obligations. And that basically blows. So my feeling is, whatever happens, happens." Angela says, "I have to say I really respect that." Uh, you do? He just told you that every decision he makes is designed to avoid responsibility of any kind. That doesn't command respect where I'm from, Chase. Oh, right, but he's got those eyes and that car. Anyway, he walks away, and starts to drive off, and Angela pretends she's the one who suddenly has to leave, although she might as well be chasing him down the street shouting after the Catalanomobile when she says, "Oh, I forgot my Geometry book in my locker, so..." Angela stands in the parking lot. And suddenly, it's the most self-conscious parking lot that she's ever -- oh, whatever.

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My So-Called Life

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