My So-Called Life
Life Of Brian

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Key Grip: D | 3 USERS: A+
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Life Of Brian

Outside My So-Called High, we see Brian not employing this philosophy, as he embarks upon the most painfully ham-handed attempt to ask a girl to a dance in the history of television. Delia offers herself up on a ruby-encrusted silver platter, and the silver is made from gold, and the rubies are made from diamonds: "So, have you thought about the dance?" Brian says, "Not really. Awkward pause. Have you?" She tries again: "No, and, it's just that if I'm not going to work Saturday, I have to switch with someone. Right away." Brian says, "I see. Awkward pause." Delia splays herself across the altar of sacrifice to the cruel and vengeful god of clueless boys, slathered in, I don't know, chocolate and honey: "So if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna need to know, like, now." At last, Brian is finally ready to take the plunge, so he opens with, "That's -- yeah. Hm. Awkward pause."

Mercifully, we cut to Rickie and Angela, as the latter watches the former scope out a cute boy in a certain pair of colorful shoes. Angela says, "Rayanne's right." Rickie plays dumb. Angela says, "Corey. And the dance." Neither of them mention that Corey is very clearly flirting with some girl right now, she having been lured in presumably by the Converse Of Power. (Note that we have now learned that his name is Corey, but I'm still going to talk about his shoes, because, admit it, six paragraphs from now, I'll be all, "Corey disses Rickie because, guess what, he likes girls." And you'll be all, "Who? Who's Corey? Sars, fire this schmuck.") Anyway, Angela says she understands Rickie's plight, but Vasquez is skeptical until Angela turns on the Sarcasmatron and shoots back: "Oh, you're right, Rickie. I couldn't possibly understand having an obsession for a person I have zero hope of ever becoming involved with. We're hopeless."

Meanwhile, Brian is wrapping up his seduction. Perhaps he was the picture of cool whilst we were away. But, perhaps not, because he's saying, "And so, in conclusion, I guess the truth is that I can't, you know, um, work, like, twenty-four hours a day...all work and no play, or whatever." Delia says, "Uh, Brian? Brian? Are you asking me to the dance?" Brian confirms this. Delia is very happy. Awww.

Back over by the hopeless people, Rickie and Angela decide that they should go to the dance together. "I feel so much better," says Rickie, "just to know that it's settled!" Just then Corey appears. Corey. The guy with the shoes. Anyway, he says, "Hey, Rickie! See you Saturday!" Rickie's all, "What?" Rayanne apparently suggested that the three of them (i.e. Rickie, Rayanne, and Corey) would be hanging out together at the dance: "Did I get that wrong?" Rickie reassures he of the fateful footwear, "No, you got it completely right." Corey books, and Rickie and Angela are left to shore up the delicate house of cards that is the imaginary world existing in Rickie's mind. "So I guess I should go with you and Rayanne and Corey." Not so much, says Rickie: "It might seem like you and I are together. Like a boy-girl thing." Angela says, "It might?" in a tone that suggests, "Dream on, you big queen." Blah blah blah wishy-washy-cakes. Ultimately, Angela backs out of the foursome, and Rickie runs off to find fairy godmother Graff.

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My So-Called Life

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