My So-Called Life
On The Wagon

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On The Wagon

The next day at school, Jordan spots Rayanne in the hall and tells her, "The Vertigo guy called, our audition's tonight." "What?" Rayanne snaps. Jordan says that they'll have to come up with a name. "Forget a name -- we're not ready," Rayanne tells him, but Jordan tells her not to worry: "Just wear somethin' tight." "That's your solution, cut off my circulation? We need a real rehearsal!" Rayanne grouches. "Look, you wanted this chance, you got it. Don't blow it," Jordan grouches back, and he walks away. Rayanne glares after him.

Chase Place. "So, can I still borrow the boots?" Rayanne asks, bumping down the stairs. "Oh, absolutely," Angela tells her, adding that she hopes she can come to the show. Rayanne tells her cheerfully that it's fine, "if you can't, you can't," but Angela feels the need to justify herself further, referring to "this whole thing" her parents have about "school nights" and saying that she'll "definitely go. So, what song are you singing, again?" Rayanne freezes, telling Angela in a terrified tone of voice that she doesn't know, "they never told" her, and she marches over to the sideboard in the dining room and grabs a bottle of liquor and pours herself a shot, and Angela begs her with tears in her voice to stop and please don't, and Rayanne lifts the glass to her lips, stops, starts laughing, and pours the booze back into the decanter, giggling, "The look on your face..." She pats Angela on the arm and leaves. Angela slumps against the sideboard.

Rayanne sings "I Wanna Be Sedated" in front of the mirror. She's wearing shiny fuchsia workout leggings, a semi-transparent cerise dress that clashes with the leggings, a gold sparkly polyester vest cut into strips at the bottom, Bo Derek braids, and the bowler hat. It's a truly terrifying ensemble. Amber joins her in front of the mirror, and mother and daughter harmonize on the chorus, and then they both start screaming excitedly. "Oh, honey," Amber says, "is Angela excited?" "Yeah," Rayanne says, a little too absently. "Me too," Amber says, hugging her, "even more than when I served that BLT to Bobby Dylan -- he said I could call him 'Bobby.'" Rayanne reminds her that "Bobby" stiffed her on the tip. Amber grabs Rayanne's hands and says they feel like ice, and Rayanne says that her heart "is beating, like, a lot, and I can hardly breathe." Amber realizes, sounding really surprised, that "you're scared, aren't you!" Rayanne says no, and she hugs Amber tightly, saying that "this is gonna be incredible -- this is gonna be the most amazing night of my life," but over Amber's shoulder, she doesn't look very happy.

Folding laundry in the dining room, Patty recounts her conversation with Amber to Graham and says she bets Amber doesn't even have another phone. Graham makes a "whatever" face and says that they don't have another phone either; predictably, Patty starts to argue that that's not the point, but Angela comes in and sits down and launches directly into a thinking-aloud monologue, saying that "there's this thing tonight at Vertigo," and she promised Rayanne that she'd ask if she could go, but she doesn't really want to go that much in the first place, and she feels "so guilty" about that, and Rayanne's singing in "this band -- all right, it's, it's Jordan Catalano's band," but she's at pains to add that "this is nothing to do with Jordan, or the fact that we broke up, or, or anything," and as she rambles on, Patty and Graham exchange delighted "can you believe this" looks. Angela goes on to say that it's something "between Rayanne and me that I can't even...describe, but it's there, and it's been there for, like, a while," and that she and Rayanne never talk about the night when Rayanne had to go to the hospital, and then Angela abruptly takes her socks from the laundry pile and kisses Patty and thanks her for listening, and as Angela heads back upstairs, Patty puts her hand to her chest and breathes out sharply as if she might start to cry, and Graham whispers, "It's okay -- she'll ignore you for another month, just to make up for it." "I know," Patty croaks. She gets up and goes to the sideboard, notices the empty glass Rayanne left there, and lifts it to her nose.

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My So-Called Life




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