Props to Wing Chun for giving me so much time to get these done. Props to Sars for waiting patiently while I squander much of that time.
Go. Now. Go.
The first thing we hear is Rayanne's voice saying, "Have you ever stopped to think --" Frankly, I'm expecting her to finish with, "-- because I haven't." But really she says, "-- about refrigerators. Refrigerators are so revealing."
Rayanne is standing in Angela's kitchen, peering into the open refrigerator, interpreting the things it reveals. Rickie and Angela are on hand, eating grapes. Rayanne theorizes that she can know everything about Angela's family by looking into the fridge and, by way of example, points out, "There's actually labeled, like, leftovers in here." What exactly that proves, I open up for discussion. Angela tells Rayanne to close the fridge, because, "My mom, like, chemically senses it if the fridge rises over 47 degrees." Rayanne leaves the fridge closed for two seconds, and then opens it again. "Who's into the mustard?" Angela says the Graham is the mustard aficionado. "You know what that's about." AVO sets up the punchline: "To Rayanne, everything is about --"
"Sex," says Rayanne.
The mustard-sex theory is either very complex, or poorly explicated, or both, but it goes like this: "All you really need to survive is mild yellow. The rest of this stuff is purely recreational." Ew. I wonder if there were Grey Poupon stains on the Rapunzel costume Patty returned to the costume shop last week. But Rickie and Angela aren't really listening to the mustard theory, because they are busy noticing the beer that Rayanne has in her hand, which suggests that it's not the fridge itself, but rather what people take out of it, that is truly revealing. Rayanne says, "What? It's domestic. Even Patty has enough of a life, she's not gonna be counting beers." What is there, a case in the Chase fridge? Patty'd have to be blind not to notice a bottle missing from a sixer.
As they all head upstairs to Angela's room, telling funny refrigerator stories ("In my refrigerator we have this mayonnaise jar that no one wants to, like, admit is empty"), Patty comes in the front door with Danielle, in time to spot the beer in Rickie's hand but not in time to see that Rayanne just put it there. Actually, it's Danielle who notices the beer: "You're having a beer? At 4:30?" Her reward is being kicked out of the room. As she goes, she pouts, "Mom, it's not fair, my life is totally edited." Heh. Rickie is all apologetic, taking the blame for the beer, and covering Rayanne's alcoholic ass with his generosity, which is nice of him, but it also makes it more likely that someday soon he'll be covering her dead ass with a sheet. Patty makes three abortive attempts to give a stern parental speech, all of which are incredibly lame, and then she asks to see Angela in the kitchen.
Rickie says, "Great, now she hates me." Rayanne says, "I'm sorry, Rickie, I'll go in there and tell Patty that the beer was actually mine." Oh wait, no she doesn't. Instead she helpfully chimes with, "Well, she never liked you that much to start off with." Rickie emphasizes that now Patty really hates him. Rayanne wearily concludes that Patty will never give anyone a break, and is impossible to please. I know, Rayanne. And you've tried so hard to please her by stealing her beers. She's such a realistic teenager, I want to shake her.