My So-Called Life
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | 6 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Pilot

Props to Sars and the as-yet-unseen Itamar, both of whom will be recapping the last twelve episodes of this series when I've finished. I promise not to make this a repeat of my shameful performance last summer, when I was supposed to recap five episodes of the first season of Dawson's Creek, and ended up wrapping up the last of those...um, last week. Sorry about that. Anyway, I promise I won't do that again. Oh, and props to Showcase, the Canadian television network that aired this show in my last undergrad year, so that I could tape it all, because I missed it when it was first on. I watched Friends then, as, uh, now. And I apologize for that too.

Before starting this recap, Sars and I discussed whether I should recap the show as if I didn't know who anyone was, but I do, so I won't. Work with me.

As the camera apparently represents a series of passersby, Angela Chase -- who, at this point, is blonde (or, I should say, is wearing a nappy blonde wig) -- approaches and says, "Um, excuse me..." Rayanne Graff -- wearing some long-ass earrings, and with one hank of bleached-blonde hair on prominent display along her right cheek -- asks for some change, to make a phone call. Angela giggles. The camera pans away, and then back to Angela, who explains, "See, okay, see, this guy, like --" "Robbed our bus...tickets!" Rayanne interjects, adding, "And, um, you know, my sister and I, we're twins." Angela interrupts her: "No, we're not the kind of twins who look alike; we just finish each other's --" "Sentences," says Rayanne, and then they ask each other, in unison, "How did you do that?" The camera pans off again, and then comes back to Angela attempting her spiel but collapsing into helpless giggles. Rayanne very seriously attempts to back her up: "She's upset. See, you look a little like our mother, who's in a coma." Rayanne then loses it and chokes out, "Excuse her! She's hypoglycemic! I'd better get her some chocolate!" Rayanne reminds me of my high-school friend Andrea [not her real name], who was also very short and hyper and a fan of controlled substances, but whose parents were very wealthy. This didn't prevent her from begging for change on the streets of Niagara-on-the-Lake, of course.

Over a shot of Angela and Rayanne running down the street, we hear Angela's voice-over (hereafter AVO) telling us, "So, I started hanging out with Rayanne Graff, just for fun. Just 'cause it seemed like if I didn't, I would die, or something." The image of their running figures fades out and cloudy close-up of Angela's face fades in as AVO continues, "Things were getting to me. Just how people are -- how they always expect you to be a certain way." Sharon Cherski, in a pastel floral t-shirt and with her hair in a Pebbles Flintstone ponytail on top of her head, walks up beside Angela as AVO concludes, "Even your best friend." Angela smiles diffidently and they wander down the hall, identical (though different-coloured) knapsacks slung over their left shoulders.

We join Sharon in medias yammer: "So then she admits that she only joined Yearbook to be near Scott, which is just, like, so low," and the audio on Sharon's voice trails off as Angela pretends to pay attention but really scans the badly lit hallway and AVOs, "Like, with boys, like they have it so easy." She walks past a group of guys -- one of whom looks about thirty-five and has a major mullet -- sizing her up, and AVOs, "Like you have to pretend you don't notice them noticing you." Another guy twirls a basketball on his finger. Two jocks shove Brian Krakow up against a locker, but not with any particular passion, and Angela has no reaction; clearly, this is not an unusual event. More AVO: "Like cheerleaders. Can't people just cheer on their own? Like, to themselves?" Angela brushes up against one of the cheerleaders, who shoots her an irritated backward glance; the contact breaks Angela out of her slow-mo, proto-Felicitarian reverie, and we hear Sharon's voice again, still complaining about the Yearbook deceiver. As Angela and Sharon descend a flight of stairs, we see that Angela is sporting a pair of opaque white tights -- and not, though you might think it, under a pair of Bad Idea Jeans. As Angela passes by a window, she gazes out to see Rayanne and Rickie Vasquez running down the front steps and away from school. Sharon asks Angela who she's looking for, and Angela distractedly replies, "Nobody," though AVO cryptically adds, "School is a battlefield...for your heart." This is me in grade nine, baby. This is me in grade nine.

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My So-Called Life

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