My So-Called Life

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: B+ | 2 USERS: C
And it fits into this empty place in your heart

The Only Bathroom At School. The recently-formed crime-fighting team of Sharon and Rayanne are discussing the only topic of mutual interest to both of them: Angela. Sharon says, "I heard Angela went home sick. A reaction to her flu shot?" Rayanne says, "Fake. She's faking. She just can't face Jordan Catalano." Sharon demands to know what Jordan did to her, and Rayanne says he didn't do anything: "He's just mad 'cause she won't have sex with him. It's so sad. To see her make, like, this big deal, over this thing that's, like, over in three seconds." I would make an observation about the quality of the sex that Rayanne is apparently having, but I don't have to, because some random girl comes out of a stall and says, "Well I like when they take, like, a really long time." Another random stall girl says, "Who are you kidding, you've never even done it?" First girl retorts, "So? Neither have you!" Rayanne decides to mess with the Stall Girls and says, naughtily: "I like it when they take an ice cube, and run it all the way up your body, until you think you'll lose your mind." Sharon smiles appreciatively at the performance, and the other girls' jaws drop. "Someone seriously did that? To you?" Rayanne says, "Mickey Rourke did it." Leaving the other girls behind to continue their pow-wow, Sharon is all, "So she's, like, scared? To have sex?" Rayanne says she doesn't know. "All I know is that she's hot for him." One of the stall girls calls out from behind them, "Mickey Rourke? Does he, like, go to this school?" Rayanne makes a vampire noise for some reason, and leaves the bathroom with Sharon.

Now we are treated to an attractive Aryan couple smooching each other, while a soothing Sex Voice Over (SVO) tells us, "Because intimacy is more than the sexual act. Intimacy fills every moment of your day." To demonstrate this, the couple kneads dough together, and strokes a faucet. The source of the SVO, a really scary-looking sex therapist, appears on the screen, and starts to talk some more. Then Sharon starts to fast-forward the tape. Because, you see, we are in Angela's parents room at Chase Place, where Sharon is showing Angela this video to help her overcome her fears. "Blah blah blah, we've all heard about intimacy," Sharon is saying, "then there's this whole relationship stuff. we go. Shelley and Mitch. They love each other, but lately their sex has become routine and mechanical." Angela says, "Your parents actually watch this?" Sharon's all, "Are you kidding? They've had it for, like, years. You can keep it for a while, though. They won't even notice." Angela gets all unconvincingly blasé and says, "Why would I want to keep it?" Sharon looks at her. "I don't know. Why were you asking me all those questions? So. You and Jordan...never...?" AVO: "There's this dividing line. Between girls who've had sex, and girls who haven't. And we both suddenly realized, we were looking at each other across it." Sharon stops the tape. "Look, Angela, you're allowed to ask me things." Angela pretends not to have any questions, for all of one second. "What kinds of things?...So did you use something?" Sharon flips out. "Of course we did! We used condoms! Angela, promise you'll make him wear a condom if you decide to do it!" Angela agrees, under the barrage, then says she wants to stop talking about it, and then asks, "So how did you, like, decide to..." Sharon says, "Look. I told Kyle I wanted to wait until I was ready. And then, one night, I totally was. The only strange thing is that, after that, having sex was, like, expected, because you can't, like, go back. I mean it kind of stopped mattering whether I wanted to." Which can happen. And suddenly Sharon's side of the great divide doesn't look so appealing to Angela. Not that, of course, it seems to have looked appealing to her before.

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My So-Called Life




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