My So-Called Life
My So-Called Life

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: D | 952 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Self-Esteem

Stefan's Kitchen. The drunken lout is in absentia, and the natives are restless. "Listen," says the Loud Lady to Graham, "can I ask you a question?" She's talking quietly, so we know it's going to be important. Graham says she can. "It's about risotto." Graham pretends not to be disappointed that she didn't just proposition him.

Chase Place. Patty is asking the still couch-bound Angela if she has her Geometry midterm tomorrow. Angela claims to be ready. "I think I'm going to call Brian Krakow, and maybe we can quiz each other." Patty thinks this is a wonderful idea, which it would be if it weren't based on lies and ridiculous circumstances. "I'm so happy you didn't inherit my math block," says Patty, "I was also so terrible at math, and it affected my whole life, and I was afraid I was going to pass it down to you girls, like a bad chromosome or something." Heh. Angela goes upstairs to summon Brian out from the Sanctum Krakonium.

Knock-knock. Brian's at Chase Place. That was fast. But he's all angry: "I don't believe you. You're in some dream world or something that revolves around you. You have, like, no concept of anybody else's life." No awkward pauses in there. None in here either: "You couldn't begin to imagine the pressure I'm under. You think you're under pressure? You? That is so, like, laughable." Angela concedes all of these points, and wants help with Geometry anyway. "Are you insane?" She concedes this point as well. "Do you have any idea how much studying I have to do tonight? Have you ever even heard of Calculus? Geometry is a paid vacation compared to Calculus." And so on. "You have the option of insanity! I do not! And that -- makes me crazy!" In short, no help with Geometry for Angela. Brian leaves. Imaginary BVO: "Why did I do that? There go my chances with her. I'm such an idiot. Jordan Catalano is probably, like, totally nice to her all the time. Or whatever."

Graham comes home. Patty strolls up for the story of the latest Stefan Dieter debacle. And here it is: "Stefan Dieter won't be teaching for a while. He's in some rehab in Idaho, getting deglazed." Patty apologizes. For what? Oh, not for condescending to him like he's a talentless baby, but for forcing him to take the class in the first place: "Don't stay in the class just to spite me." Um, not everything it about you. Maybe this is about Graham's love of cooking. And, uh, having the hots for that lady. Anyway, Patty's tirade of an apology for totally the wrong thing goes on and on until Graham says, "They want me to teach the class." Patty's all: Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? "We're all just sitting there. It's becoming nightmarishly clear that he's not going to show. Again. And I'm thinking, this has been the stupidest week of my life. And of course this woman..." (Patty: "The loud obnoxious one?" Poor Patty.) "...is going on and on about how she tried to make risotto for her fiancé, and it was this big disaster, and I started telling her why. And pretty soon, everyone's asking questions, and, like, writing down what I'm saying. And she says, um, 'You are so much easier to follow than Stefan Dieter. You should teach this class.' So I waited for everyone to laugh, and no one laughed." Patty pretends that she thinks this is wonderful, and Graham wants to know why she's clearly not sincere, and she says she's just surprised. "Aren't you surprised?" And he says that yes, he is, but "I wouldn't have minded if one of us wasn't quite so surprised." Because, after all, he's not allowed to sound surprised about her knitting drapes. Patty doesn't believe in him. And that's why he would have left her in Season Two.

My So-Called Life

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