My So-Called Life

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: D | 4 USERS: A+

Chase Place. Graham comes home and tells Patty that Stefan Dieter is really hard to follow. Good move. Now she can be condescending and poke holes in Graham's self-esteem. First, Graham notes the drapes Patty is hanging and asks if she made them. "Yes," she says, "why do you sound so surprised?" Oh, but when it comes to his skills, it's time for doubt and second-guessing: "You mean for you to follow, or..." Graham's all, "What did I just say?" Patty's all, "No, I mean, could nobody follow him, or..." Graham, thinking he must not have been clear the first two times, says, "Why would only I have problems following him?" Patty does not get the hint, somehow: "I'm simply asking if it were possible that there were some people in the class who could follow what he was saying." Graham turns to go upstairs, showing remarkable restraint by not shoving Patty out the window. Parting shot: "And for your information, he's a lush. He's a drunken lout." Man, she's basically driving him into the Loud Lady's arms, is she not?

Pike Street. Friday night. Buffalo Tom, rockin' out. Angela, Rayanne, and Sharon all come inside. Graff is saying, "See? I told you. You've just got to put your thumb over the picture." Sharon is saying, "They're even cuter than on their CD!" Angela looks around for Jordan, but doesn't see him. Pike Street is hopping, though.

Chase Place. Krakow knocks, and Danielle lets him in with a sultry glance, leaning seductively against the door. Ew. Actually, she sneers and says, "She went to hear Buffalo Tom." Brian looks around in disbelief. Imaginary BVO: "Oh, that's just perfect. I mean, how insensitive can just one person, like, be, you know? It's like this time my uncle took me fishing, and when he saw this, like, attractive waitress at this, like, stupid diner or wherever, he made me sit in the car by myself for nearly three hours. I almost, like, passed out from the heat, and he didn't even care. Some people are, like, untouchable. I wish I was like that. I hate myself."

Pike Street. More Buffalo Tom. They are not at all cute. Angela wants to leave, but Rayanne spots Jordan playing pool with his idiot friend. Idiot Friend: "There's Rayanne Graff, and that weird girl she always hangs out with." You know you're in trouble when you are contrasted from Rayanne Graff by means of your weirdness. Anyone, Jordan flips the too-cool switch and ignores the chicks. Angela stutters some lame excuses about Jordan being busy and not seeing her. The band plays, continuing to not be cute. Angela's friends insist she go talk to Jordan, and she does, wondering what will happen next. "Hi," she says. "Hi," he says, lining up a shot. "'re kinda crowding me." Doesn't sound so deep when there's no kissing, does it? Also, what he means is, like, she's kinda crowding him, like, metaphorically. She finally gets it. She books it out of there before the tears start to flow, followed by Sharon. But Rayanne heads over to the pool table. "Hey Graff. Wanna play?" says Idiot Friend. She beats the crap out of him with a hammer. No, wait, she doesn't, but she does elbow his punk ass aside and screw up Jordan's shot on purpose. "You know you like her," she says to Moron Lips. "Would it kill you to admit it? Maybe treat her halfway decent? Because, you know, she deserves it. And she's not gonna wait around for you forever." Idiot Friend gets back up, cradling his shattered ribs and bleeding scalp. "Man, they're, like, weird, you know? Both of 'em." Someone explain to me why these were the popular guys in high school. I mean, this one's not even good looking, he's just stupid and boorish. The ugly band is cuter than Idiot Friend. ["Idiot Friend is, ironically, Shannon Leto, Jared's brother. But I agree, he's ugly and obnoxious." -- Sars] Speaking of whom, Buffalo Tom continue to sing: I'd do it if I could. I hope you know I would. Which is, I guess, a step up from Release me -- lease me -- lease me. But only one step.

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My So-Called Life




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