Meanwhile, at Teen Crisis Central, Sharon is taking all the calls in her usual perkariffic style while Rayanne looks bored as hell. "And a merry Christmas to you, too!" Sharon tells a caller. "Thanks for calling the Help Line!" The phone rings again. Rayanne begs, "Oh, can I have this one, please, please, please?" Sharon reluctantly agrees. Rayanne answers. Rayanne: "Hello? Help Line?" Caller: "Awkward Pause."

Cut to Chase house. "Hi," says Brian. "My name is…'Steve.'"

Back at Teen Crisis Central, Rayanne covers the phone with her hand and cracks up. "It's Brian Krakow!" she tells Sharon.

Between Awkward Pauses, Brian rambles about how his parents are out of town. "I thought…you know…it'll be great. I'll…work on my PSATs." Rayanne tries not to snicker. Brian goes on, "It'll be, like…peaceful." His voice starts breaking. "But…I just…didn't expect to feel this, like, lonely…" Rayanne's expression changes and she covers the phone again. "My God, he's crying!" she tells Sharon. Sharon offers to get the supervisor. Rayanne thinks for a moment. "No -- I'll handle it," she says. She turns back to the phone.

"So, 'Steve,' you never asked me my name." She tells him it's "Jade." Brian asks "Jade" if she goes to Liberty High. "Negative, 'Steve,'" she says. She asks him what he's wearing. Meanwhile, Sharon looks like she wants to jam a pen in her eyeball. Brian looks down at himself: "What? Um…all right. My red flannel shirt and my brown corduroys…why?" Rayanne: "Would you like to know what I'm wearing, 'Steve?'" Brian: "Um. Awkwardest of Pauses. Sure." Rayanne: "I'm wearing a tank top. It's really low cut. I'm practically popping out of it. And these super tight shorty cutoffs!" Hey, that's my outfit: the MBTV Official Recapper's Uniform (though it looks better on Djb). Anyway. "Oh, they are so tight!" gasps Rayanne. "I better unzip them…oooh…mmm…that's so much better."

Brian listens and his eyes widen. He's thinking, So THIS is why Christmas is such a big deal. "Are…are you sure this is the Help Line?" Rayanne, lustily: "It's the Help Line all right. Mmmm…it's getting really warm in here. I think I should take off my tank top!" "Look, I better get off," says Brian. (Pause that goes far beyond Awkward and rockets past Mortifying to a completely new galaxy of embarrassment.) "I mean, hang up. I mean…I'm at my neighbors', so…" "Well, think of it this way, 'Steve,'" says Rayanne. "You still feel like crying?" Brian tries to think with what little blood he still has in his northernmost head. He hangs up.