Joy Farrah Hickey is next up. She had dreams of stardom, but also eventually turned to crime. She's the low-rent Bonnie to Earl's half-wit Clyde. We get to see her arrests (we got to see everyone's, actually, but she's the only one with a naked one, so I'll mention it). Joy knew Ernie, but not as well as anyone else because she grew up in the much classier Nathanville one town over. She liked Ernie, because he once sprayed a drunk guy with a waterhose when he tried to dry-hump her in the parking lot while she was bending over to pick up a nickel. That old trick? Everyone liked Ernie. To wit: TV's Tim Stack says Ernie was always spraying him with a hose. Tim's history: He's blocked out his childhood because he was taken in by two fathers. He liked Ernie, because he wouldn't bother him when he would do cocaine in the bathroom. Some other guy comes up and asks Tim what sort of pill he gave him. This is Wilfrid Dierkes, Tim's agent. We get his history, which we don't care about, but I'll play along: He was a weird kid, an obese teen, a weird little adult. He has an online law degree, which he uses to sue people when Tim fakes slip-and-falls.
Darnell comes up to tell Wilfrid his library card was declined as payment at the Crab Shack, and Geraldo moves on to Darnell, Ernie's favorite employee. He acted suspicious, which would only mean one thing: "Witness Protection" is added later. Darnell admitted he knew more about Ernie than anyone else. He says Ernie was a genius, because he knew that if you change to it gradually, you could basically serve people chum, and they'd think it's seafood. Oh, and also, Ernie was friends with NASCAR's Michael Waltrip. (I think he did it!!) Geraldo goes on to him. Michael Waltrip stays at the Palm Hotel when in Camden, and according to the Palm's brochure, "if a hooker comes to your room by mistake, you don't have to pay her." What service! Michael met Ernie at an autograph signing, and they connected over having brothers who competed with them in their same business: Michael's brother Darrell also drives race cars, and Ernie's brother, Quizno, invented the toasted sub. I can't even tell if any or all of that was product placement. Michael Waltrip fills Geraldo in on the lady friends Ernie was very fond of.