We get a brief recap of last week's Inside Probe episode disguised as part of the episode in Earl's voiceover. Randy announces that the second part is on now. Everyone at the Crab Shack watches, and Earl acknowledges they are on Central Time, which he hadn't believed. Geraldo comes on screen and catches us up: Ernie owned the Crab Shack. He disappeared. Everyone loved him. Randy's letters made it seem like he and Earl murdered Ernie. The town freaked out, including the convenience store employee, Catalina and Patty, who thought Ernie was a gentleman, because he held a shirt over her head when it rained while she was "working" on him. It made her feel like a princess. The Hickeys had a cheap lawyer (Wilfrid Dierkes, who's also Tim Stack's agent), so it wasn't looking good. Until Michael Waltrip's -- whose testimony Geraldo says counts as that of three regular Americans -- photos gave them an alibi. So Geraldo tells us where we stand now: Inside Probe decided to dig. A little deeper. Into the Earth. To find the treasure chest. Of the truth. Of this mystery." Geraldo is actually very funny and self-deprecating here, thank God. Funny Inside Probe intro, followed by My Name Is Earl intro.
At the Crab Shack, everyone's watching. Randy can't wait to find out who did it, and he's just glad it wasn't him. Although he acknowledges what an awesome twist that would be, since he's always thought of himself as such a nice guy. Earl thinks someone called the "Cheese Grater Killer" did it. He reminds Randy of the big pile of ground beef with a sock in it that they found in the parking lot. Randy really hopes that wasn't Ernie, since he ate the beef and is wearing the sock. Ew. And ew. Darnell says no one even knows Ernie's dead, and it could be something totally normal, such as he was forced to leave town, change his identity, and maybe he married a hot blonde. Joy asks who marries a hot blonde and doesn't brag about it. Earl thinks if Ernie were alive, he would have found a way to get in touch, so he's sticking with the Cheese Grater.
On screen, Geraldo says the investigation moved on from the Hickey boys to something a little more out-of-this-world. Geraldo's interviewing Randy and Earl, and Earl tells him that Randy has an interesting hypothesis (which Earl can't pronounce): that it was aliens. Geraldo explains that alien abduction stories aren't new, and date all the way back to cavemen. We see some totally real hieroglyphics to illustrate this. Earl says Joy also saw a bright light, so Geraldo can even ask her. Then he compliments Geraldo's 'stache and asks if he puts conditioner on it. Geraldo says he does, but that the conditioner is very expensive.














