Earl and Randy oversee Clark Clark crying, and they find it so funny that they do everything they can to make him cry again. They throw broken eggs onto a nest-looking pile of sticks and feathers on his doorstep (mean!). As Johnny Cash sings, "Cry, Cry, Cry", Clark Clark cries "Poor birdies." Then Earl and Randy find a place at the mall that makes fake newspapers and deliver one to him that says, "Baby Suicides At An All Time High." Johnny Cash continues as Clark Clark sobs, "Why are babies killing themselves?" What a good question. Why would babies do that? Clark Clark is so emotional, he puts his house on the market. The Hickeys are confused, until Milo tells them that Earl and Randy tortured Mr. Clark and made him cry.Back in the present, Earl and Randy -- with Milo revealing Randy's masturbatory habits -- head off to find the Clarks.
Meanwhile, our one-eyed mailman plays Joy's "Ball genius" game with his glass eye instead of a marble. The mailman wants to buy it, but Joy says she had her eye on it way before he had his actual eye actually on it. So, they start bartering for it and Joy ends up paying $45 (even though Darnell told her some of that money is for their kids' asthma medicine; she is such a good mother). And she's keeping the glass eye since it was on the game when they were bidding on it.
Earl and Randy have no trouble finding Clark Clark in the phone book. It's not a common name, I guess. Clark Clark says he appreciates Earl and Randy coming over, but they aren't the reason he moved. He has never said why he moved, but it's time for him to reveal this secret he's lived with for far too long. "We moved because your mother and I had an affair." Okay, little show that's supposed to be happy and silly and fun, I did NOT see that coming.