Carl is picking up on a bank teller. She actually seems to be hitting on him, to tell the truth. But when he asks her to dinner, she apologizes for sending the wrong message. She was just trying to be nice; it's just customer service. Poor Carl. She's not interested in having sex with him. And she's not even that much of a prize. So, he closes his bank account. Then heads to the pharmacy and hits on the pharmacist, who slaps him across the face. Then they head to the diner, where he says the waitress also flirts with him. He makes Earl stay in the car, because he thinks having his son with him creeped the other women out. He runs out to get condoms, and then the waitress comes out. It's Patty. And yet Earl does not throw up at the thought of her and his dad together. I don't understand the guy's stomach weaknesses apparently.
Meanwhile, Carl's buying condoms from the pharmacist who rejected him. She says, "I thought you needed the largest kind we had," and he says, "Just ring it up, pecker tease." Can you really say that on TV? I don't think you can. Someone call the FCC. Actually, on second thought, please don't. But have I mentioned there might be children watching?
Earl tries to discourage Patty from sleeping with his dad, who comes back right then with candy. She refuses them because of nuts, and some of her clients are allergic so she has to keep her mouth peanut free. Carl can't believe she's a hooker.
Back at the hotel, Carl breaks down. Earl cannot believe it. After all, he was taught from a young age that Hickey men don't cry. Earl goes through all sorts of times when he might have cried (his mom died, he cut off his finger tip) but didn't. So this moment when it's okay for him to cry finally allows Earl to cry too. It's a real bonding moment. The floor ends up scattered with Kleenex and they make really bad metaphors about what this crying moment feels like. They spend all night talking and crying, until they feel better. (If only it were that easy, right?) Carl goes home to Kay. This is a sitcom after all. Randy burns up Milo. And Earl forgives Joy, who doesn't seem to care, but then immediately hits the genius hole and then gives the eye back to the mailman.