Someone named Granny Rich is in the audience. I guess that's John Rich's grandma? Or mother? If that's the case, then sadly she has to bear part of the blame. Billy Ray announces that the next act that is safe is Laura and Sophie. Color me surprised! I thought they might be goners. Their mentoring video gets a little dramatic as we learn that Laura & Sophie are being plagued by interpersonal conflict. Laura (or Sophie?) -- the one with the braces -- cracks on Sophie (or Laura?) -- the one without braces -- for crying all the time, and the braceless one fires back that she's been aggravated with the other one for six weeks! Jeffrey Steele is thinking that he doesn't get paid enough for this as he asks if the two really want to do this together. Braces gives a halfhearted, "yeah," before noting that she doesn't feel the same way about Braceless as she used to. Braceless tearfully gets up and leaves in a huff. Then Braces starts crying too. I think that the fault lies with Braces alone. Braceless seems perfectly likeable, and is in fact the more palatable singer. Braces not only looks but sounds nasal. Jeffrey tells them to get it together, because friendship is what makes this act work. That, and the fact that kiddie porn has a stranglehold on the national imagination.
Laura & Sophie sing "Walkin' After Midnight." They start off the performance holding hands, and are actually not entirely wearing identical outfits! Braceless actually looks really hot. The performance is a mixed bag. Braces hits a painful harmony note at the end, and the girls' awkward attempts at being sexy just make the whole thing feel wronger. John Rich tells them they're like band camp. He doesn't think they're ready at any capacity to take a run at the big time. Braceless asks if it's because they're still in high school, and John Rich tells them it's because mentally they're still child-like and are crybabies as well. It's so true. Jewel says that personally, she thinks they need to go home and develop a bit more. John Rich adds that it would be for their own good. Braceless backtalks a bit, to no effect. Jeffrey asks if they're cool, and the girls say they're perfect. He still believes in them, he tells them, but looks kind of weird and stressed while saying it. That is because it is lies. I'm totally with Jewel and John Rich for not having any patience for this shit.
The next contestant who is safe is Gabe Garcia. In his mentoring video, Jewel says that she keeps looking for Gabe's passion. Gabe works on Keith Urban's "Somebody Like You," and Jewel tells him that the audience is his lover. Why is she so gross with him all the time? She totally wants to bang him in the butt. After he takes dance lessons, that is. Gabe is ready to do every stupid thing that Jewel suggests if it means he might win. On stage, Gabe actually does appear to kind of bop a little more. I have to admit to finding this song to be a little slice of heaven. It just has such a good feel and energy to it. I think it's hard to go wrong. At one point Gabe awkwardly puts his guitar to his side and walks around and tries to convince the audience that it wants to be his lover. It works, because he gets a standing ovation. Jeffrey tells him that he's a ten. John Rich says in Spanish that that was hotter than a bull. John Rich totally wants to bang Gabe in the butt, too! Jewel says he did a great job, and she's going to keep stepping him up because she wants him to make it to the end.