Nashville Star

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Consoled a Cup of Coffey, But It Didn’t Wanna Talk

Cof-FAY kind of sucks, as usual. Jeffrey Steele says that Cof-FAY is a great showman, and his charisma has carried him this whole way. Jeffrey thinks that Cof-FAY is a star, even if he's not the next Nashville Star. John Rich agrees, and says that even though Cof-FAY is a star, he DOUBTS that he's the next Nashville Star. Jewel agrees that Cof-FAY has a lot of charisma, and says that he was great tonight. I think that her Shirley Betty Temple White hair is maybe a wig. Maybe her hairline recedes a bit more with every lie that she tells about how good Cof-FAY is?

Next up is Melissa Lawson, who heads back to Arlington, Texas. She sees her family, and all of her boys pile on top of her in a really cute way. She assures us that she can handle family life and Nashville Star life all at one. She heads back to her old high school, and tells us that she's nervous because she was never popular. She was popular enough to get knocked up five times. The Arlington High School auditorium is packed, and Melissa regales the crowd with "Ready to Stand." She gets a key to the city, too. Wouldn't it be awesome to show up at the Mayor's house at midnight and try to fit that thing in the front door? On stage, Melissa sings the country classic "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." She seems really relaxed and natural, and doesn't make any crazy eyes that I can tell. She sounds great.

Jewel gives Melissa a perfunctory "good job." What's up her butt tonight? I mean, aside from the usual humanity stick or whatever. Jeffrey tells Melissa that she did a great job as always, but adds that the other contestants are sneaking up on her. He says that she knocks it out of the park every time, but he's a little tired of hearing all the big notes. John Rich asks Melissa why she wants to be the Nashville Star, and what it would do for her to win. She says that it would change not only her lives but the lives of her children, and as a mother that's her responsibility. Was that like a miniature Tony-award-winning play that we just saw there? So weird. John says that she did a great job.

And then someone from State Farm comes out to give a check for $40,000 to go to the contestants' hometown school districts. That's good and all, but I'm not sure if it really inspires new possibilities for humanity or anything important like that.

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Nashville Star

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