The next safe contestant is Coffey, and he'll be singing "Umbrella." Ella, ella. Jewel calls him Cof-FAY in the mentoring video. I guess that's his name now, as he refers to himself as Cof-FAY later on, too. She also says he can't fake his way through by being a handsome, charismatic guy. Yeah, that never works for anyone. Coffey is singing this song for his daughter, Savannah. He has some hand and arm and ear tugging signals for her. He looks like the cutest gay cowboy Village People member in the world, but his performance is just weird. He keeps shouting things between the various lines of lyrics. The hell? Jeffrey realizes that the audience loves Cof-FAY, but he thinks Cof-FAY is total crap. John Rich liked it though. He tells Cof-FAY that he's a country soul singer. Jewel liked it overall, but tells Cof-FAY to choose his moments of gimmick wisely. Why is Jeffrey Steele the only one who realized how dastardly terrible that performance was?
Billy Ray tells us that the next safe contestants are Laura & Sophie. And they're singing Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T."!!!!! I would love it more if they rocked "The Girl Is Mine," because the spoken word interlude would be priceless. "Sophie, I think I told you... I'm a lover not a fighter." But "P.Y.T." is pretty awesome, too. They're not so sure about the choice at first, but once Jeffrey shares his arrangement ideas they're into it. Laura & Sophie share that the stress of the competition has put a strain on their friendship. It has not, however, stopped them from dressing in identical '80s homecoming dresses. WTF? These two creep me the hell out. Who is this pretty young thing they want to love? Does she dress in an outfit identical to theirs, too? I thought the whole performance was a little rough, even though the arrangement is really interesting. John Rich likes it, and says that Michael Jackson should be watching this show. If the Jonas Brothers had sung that song, his interest might be piqued, but something tells me that Jacko was content to clip his toenails in Dubai or Vegas or whatever fresh hell he now resides in. John Rich says that when they repeated lines, it turned him on. Musically. You just take it down a notch there, Chester. Jewel tells the girls that they're very lucky to have Jeffrey as their mentor, because the arrangement was amazing. They sang okay, too. She thinks they're going from a weirdo novelty act to something more relevant. Jeffrey is proud of them, and blown away by their performance. Billy Ray quips that he can't get over the fact that Michael Jackson sang a song called "Pretty Young Thing." Well, Macaulay Culkin WAS adorable. Laura and Sophie look delightfully scandalized.