Be Careful of Stones that You Throw

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Good Luck in Atlanta, Douche

Avery says he can't say no to the real deal, and JT is offended that they are not, in fact, the real deal. See, their first problem was allowing the band to be called, "The Avery Barkley Band." Avery wants to go out with a bang by playing their last gig together, but JT wants Avery to go out with a bang delivered by his fist. Though this is not how Avery wanted things to go down, he tells his former friends and bandmates that not everyone gets to make it in this town (OR in the ATL, as it turns out). JT responds that not everybody is a famewhore. Avery claims to be all about the music, but JT says he's really just all about Avery Barkley. And I mean, they had to know he was a colossal dick before this moment. JT adds a final, "Good luck in Atlanta, douche," and Avery is left to stroke his soul patch and deeply feel clich├ęs about loneliness and the top. Why does everyone have a soul patch?

Juliette taps away at her phone while Monster-In-Law strolls through an empty, ornate room that is likely the setting for the reception and tells her that if she has more important business than her own planned-in-one day wedding, she can wait. But not even tour details are as important as Juliette's wedding to cover up her wedding! Monster-In-Law brings up the wedding party. On Sean's side it will feature his cousin as best man. And who will Juliette have in her wedding party? She plans to ask Sean's sister, Dana, to be a junior bridesmaid, and have her "friend Emily" as maid of honor. Monster-In-Law totally busts Juliette on the fact that Emily is her assistant. Even worse, Glen is walking her down the aisle. When Juliette says that her mother can't make it due to the last-minute nature of the wedding, Monster-In-Law acknowledges that rehab facilities must be VERY strict. Thanksgiving with these guys is going to be a picnic, eh? Monster-In-Law pretends to be taken aback at the news that Juliette hasn't yet told her mother about the marriage, and Juliette tries to flip the power dynamic by saying that Monster-In-Law was wrong about her never being part of the family. But taking Sean's virtue by nuptial means is not the same as actually being in the family, Monster-In-Law explains, before implying that she's going to make Juliette's existence even MORE of a living hell.

Poor Rayna is dealing with issues of her own, as she comes home to find Lamar and Tandy lurking in her kitchen. It turns out Lamar is pissed enough that she wants to go on tour now, but taking the kids is beyond the pale. He asks what kind of parent takes their kids out of school (which, fair point), and she notes that he isn't exactly the father of the year to be giving advice. He doesn't waste time in telling her not to even consider a divorce, since custody battles always seem to shine a light on issues of paternity and it would be a shame if Maddie learned the truth about her real father. Wouldn't it be great if Maddie's father wasn't even Deacon but instead was some sort of "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" type character? Or, like, a distant cousin? Rayna wants Lamar and Tandy to get out, like she always wants Lamar and Tandy to get out.

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