Nashville
Be Careful of Stones that You Throw

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Good Luck in Atlanta, Douche

Meanwhile, Avery and Scarlett are having post-coital times. When he says, "That was..." she finishes the statement with, "...Never our problem." Her ratty weave sex hair is hilarious, as you might have predicted. He gets a calendar alert on his phone and says he has to go since Dominic wants him back in the studio today. Avery asks Scarlett if she wants to come to Atlanta. Secretly of course she does, but declines, adding that JT and the boys in the band must be over the moon about the deal. Avery has to admit that they're now, instead, under the dumpster. He claims it was not his choice, but this does not appease Scarlett's woodchuck rage. She gives him grief for being selfish and hurtful to the innocent, then tells him, "You leave your keys and get out," in exactly the same voice in which she asked, "Did you sleep with that woman?" which means she is serious. Scarlett is wearing the bedspread at this point, which makes it even harder to take her seriously.

And then we're at rehab! Jolene totally looks NOT cracked out! She's combed her hair and everything! She says that seeing Juliette reminds her what she's working so hard for, then asks if Juliette read her letter. Juliette bluffs that she's not here to talk about the letter, but rather to impart good news: she's getting married. In a big church wedding, just like they always used to talk about while Jolene was serving Juliette 4C iced tea mix for dinner. Jolene does not have the elated reaction that Juliette was expecting, and instead says it's not right. And that's nothing personal about Sean, it's something personal about Juliette. Jolene says that maybe Juliette has a hole so deep inside of her (that's what he said!) and she knows that because she also has a hole deep inside of her (that's what... ew). And if Juliette thinks that vows to a stranger is going to fill that up, she's got some heartache in store. No amount of marrying is going to quiet her demons. Juliette doesn't take MethMom's therapized preaching all that well (and, I mean, she did make the transition from pink macaroni to sweater-wearing wise elder quite quickly), and says that Jolene just can't stand to see her happy. Jolene then asks if Juliette IS happy, and Juliette storms out in response. Now that is the action of a happy woman.

JT shows up at the Bluebird to say hi to Scarlett, who still feels the need to apologize for the fact that Avery is such a jerk. He says that they should form a club called, "Avery's exes," and she jokes that that's a great band name. It at least beats "The Avery Barkley Band." Scarlett is happy to hear that JT and the boys will continue to play, and he says that unlike Mr. Rock Star they're happy to play for beer and pizza. Then they should be living in a suburb of Cleveland. They have a show tonight, which they'll have to cancel while they go on a search for a lead singer. This gives Scarlett another one of her brilliant ideas. Yes, SHE will fill in as lead singer because she is a hero to all mankind! The Mother Teresa of the Nashville stage, with worse hair! JT is of course thrilled because now he too gets to be touched by an angel.

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Nashville

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