Deacon's birthday is coming up, which prompts Jolene to suggest that they throw him a party. Juliette seizes upon this idea, because it's way easier to do than going to family therapy with MethMom's addiction counselor and reliving the tragic ninth birthday that ended in her almost letting her mother burn to death. Misty water colored memories! Deacon apparently hates parties and prefers to spend his birthday watching Old Yeller because, of course. But this does not deter Juliette, even though the addiction counselor thinks she might want to spend less time plotting parties for people who don't want them and more time giving a care about Jolene's sobriety.

Meanwhile, Rayna confronts Teddy about his affair with Peggy and about the fact that only a gigantic dickwad would let his daughter overhear him mumbling sweet nothings to his mistress over the phone. She then has to endure the onslaught of tabloids, paparazzi and strange looks when news of the divorce goes public. The gossip is that she slept with Deacon and Liam, which is technically not true, even though we all wanted it to be. News of Teddy's affair with Peggy hasn't seemed to reach the press (except for how it was in all the papers just months ago during his campaign!), and he grows yet another testicle as he announces that she will serve as "financial advisor" to his cabinet. And… REALLY? A fifth testicle drops as Teddy asks Cole to be his Deputy Mayor and announces his independence from Lamar's scheming ways. For a second I thought he might actually turn into a good mayor, but then realized that we're probably just setting the stage for Lamar to have him killed (a plot development of which I am wholeheartedly in favor).

In any case, Deacon totally likes his party despite making like he's a reclusive curmudgeon. Big country stars like Vince Gill and Pam Tillis are there, Scarlett and Gunnar sing a number and Avery is denied entrance. What could possibly go wrong, you ask? Well, for starters, someone hands Jolene a glass of champagne and she only pauses a moment before drinking. And then apparently she drinks a lot more, because she ends up wasted backstage. Juliette has to take her home and put her to bed, thus missing out on her chance to sing for Deacon and to enjoy life even for a night. Happily, Rayna is on hand to play her fabulous new song, which she dedicates to Deacon and which is pregnant with meaning, just like Rayna was once pregnant with Deacon's baby and then never told him about it. When the party is over they talk and hold hands and she tells him that she wants to do right by him, which apparently entails not doing him… at least for the time being. And then Juliette gives Deacon a puppy, because she is always full of bright ideas and excellent judgment. Really cute puppy, though.

And finally, in the most tragic of tragic events, Gunnar finds Jason's gun, confronts him about it, throws it in the river and kicks him out of the house. Jason is quite upset about Gunnar getting rid of the gun and it turns out he has good reason to be since at the end of the episode Gunnar has to identify his body. His DEAD body. Yes, Jason was beaten to death in an alley, which of course leaves Gunnar full of guilt and sadness. And what better way to relieve those terrible emotions than for Scarlett to bone him? Does this mean they're going to be boyfriend-squirrelfriend now? Can he finally walk around the house nekkid?

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