It's time to hit the road for the big Luke Wheeler tour! Rayna is psyched -- not only to support Scarlett during her big debut, but also to knock boots with Luke for a weekend. As she's packing a bag full of lingerie, she's interrupted by two officers who serve her with a court order from Jeff Fordham. She's forced to hand over her masters or go to jail, and is not happy to have missed her plane to Tampa in the process. Because she gets to Tampa late, she isn't able to help Scarlett with some of her pre-show preparation OR to ward off psychological torment by Jeff. Deacon is there, though the most that he offers are some encouraging words and a pillow. As per the previews, Scarlett steps out on stage without properly functioning ear monitors. She tanks, and the audience starts to throw shit at her. She wants to run offstage, but Rayna tells her to pull it together and then walks out and coerces the audience into showing her a little respect.
Scarlett does better when she's back onstage, but really freaks out after the show. Rayna tells her that if she had a nickel for every time she was booed offstage, she'd actually be able to buy out Highway 65 from Edgehill. The moral of the story is: toughen up. They bond over their mutual dislike of Jeff and Scarlett vows to do better, though Deacon isn't so sure that she's really ready for all this and tells Rayna as much. Jeff, meanwhile, is skulking about at the concert, telling Rayna that he needs to make some damn money for Edgehill, which is why he seized her masters. He shows her some truly hideous cover art for her album, which kicks her into high gear on a plot to thwart him. While she's in bed with Luke, she hears a tune wafting up from outside the hotel. Yes, it's Gunnar, who has been trying to write a song that Luke likes to no avail. Scarlett has joined him and thrown him a line that fixes the whole thing. Rayna notes that it would be a good duet and gets one of those, "I've just had another one of my brilliant ideas!" looks in her eyes.
On the next night of the tour, Scarlett kills it, even though she's not so sure she's cut out for this madness. Rayna joins Luke onstage for the new duet written by Gunnar (a sight that Deacon has a hard time watching), and it's great and Connie Britton's vocal coach should win twelve Emmys. The crowd goes nuts, and Rayna suggests to Jeff that he release the duet as a digital single -- which will bring him big fourth-quarter profits -- and then give her back her damn masters. He agrees, and they form an uneasy deal. Rayna is then free to bang Luke with a clear mind. She really seems to like him, though I'm not quite sure if I do.
Meanwhile, Olivia Wentworth has shown up to Juliette's hotel room to proposition her into having a threesome, which she claims is per Charlie's suggestion. Juliette is not down with the idea of being a human toy for freaky rich people, and blows off a later dinner with the Wentworths much to Glen's chagrin. She confesses her troubles to friend Avery, whose advice is to stop letting garbage people treat her like garbage, no matter how rich they are. She takes it to heart, shows up to their dinner and tells them that they're sick, narcissistic perverts. She's delighted with the situation, but Charlie looks quite sad, leading one to confirm that Olivia made up the whole threesome thing because she's an evil genius who took a unique approach to confronting her husband's mistress. Later, Charlie shows up on Juliette's door to say he thinks he's falling in love with her. Oy.
All of this action is overshadowed by the fact that Teddy wants to go to a doctor's appointment with Peggy. She puts him off for as long as she can, then goes psycho-in-a-Lifetime-movie on this joint for real. She calls him to say she's cramping and not feeling well, and that the doctor CLOSED EARLY. You know, like doctors do. But she's sure it will pass. Once she gets off the phone, she opens a paper bag that's on her bathroom counter. And you guys, I totally thought a dead fetus was going to be in there. It's actually not much better, as the bag contains a margarine-tub-sized container full of PORK BLOOD. Pork blood!!!! I did not realize this is a thing you can just buy at the store, but apparently it makes a tasty soup. Who knew? It ALSO makes a reasonable looking miscarriage. Teddy comes home to find pork blood in his toilet, and Peggy says she thinks she lost the baby. She cries, saying he only married her because she was pregnant, but he serves her tea and seems committed to her crazy ass. Once she starts storing leftovers in that pork blood container, though, all bets are off.
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Previously: Way back in I think episode one, Avery bumped into Juliette backstage at the Ryman and she said, "You should try that again sometime." Scarlett slugged him in response. Crazy Peggy learned at the doctor that she lost her baby, but that didn't stop her from pretending to be pregnant so Stupid Teddy would marry her. Deacon was encouraging to Scarlett about her career taking off, and said that doing it with Rayna is a good thing (and he should know). Jeff Fordham sent Gunnar out on the road to write with Luke "Big" Wheeler, and he was in for a big, fated surprise when he saw Scarlett on the tour bus. Rayna told Jeff that she wasn't going to do a comeback album, then made a big deal about a buyout that was squashed when Lamar went to jail and his assets were frozen. And Olivia Wentworth showed up at Juliette's door, told her she knew Juliette was sleeping with Charlie, then asked why she wasn't sleeping with her as well. This is going to end up just like Wild Things, isn't it?
We begin where we left off, just after Olivia has planted a big kiss on Juliette. Juliette wonders what Olivia is doing. Well obviously she's trying to swim in the lady pond with you! Just think of the mature songs that such a dalliance could inspire! Juliette says she doesn't know what Charlie told Olivia, and Olivia says he told her to get to know Juliette better so that maybe…all of them together could…have some fun. And I have to say, I'm not entirely buying Juliette's wide-eyed reaction to this. She sat on Santa Claus's lap. She knows a thing or two about things. In any case, Juliette is incredulous that Olivia is talking about having a threesome, and Olivia adds that sometimes also Charlie just likes to watch. Juliette suggests that Olivia go, and Olivia notes that Charlie must have been wrong about Juliette's level of adventurousness. Juliette argues that she's had a LOT of adventure in her life -- she just doesn't like to share. Olivia not so gently points out that Charlie is HER husband, so technically Juliette is already sharing. She leaves, and Juliette looks quite a bit bewildered. Rich people!
Scarlett and Gunnar then say an awkward hello on the tour bus, and Gunnar explains that he's got a gig writing with Luke. Scarlett's impressed, but after all she's the one with the dedicated bedroom while Gunnar has to jump up into a sardine bunk. The bus is heading to Tampa, and the tour manager tells Scarlett to get some rest since she has a big day ahead -- radio station in the morning, rehearsal, meet and greet, and the gig. Scarlett looks typically terrified, and I'm sure would like nothing more than to snuggle up to Gunnar and giggle guiltily when the rest of the band yells, "Hand check!"