I Fall to Pieces

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 80 USERS: A-
Orange is the New (Man in) Black

At the hospital, Maddie sits by Rayna's bed and ponders the mystery that is Uncle Deacon being her dad, and also almost killing her mom. Speaking of the ways in which Deacon has almost killed Rayna, we have another flashback. It's the morning after our last scene of coital bliss, except now Deacon's sleeping on the couch, next to a near empty bottle of whiskey. Rayna slaps him awake, asking if he's been drinking (yes), and if he just got up in the middle of the night and started drinking (yes). He says he couldn't sleep. Well, a bottle of whiskey will definitely help with that. Deacon tries to grab Rayna, and she asks if he was drunk when he came over last night, and drunk when he "asked" her. "When I asked you what?" says Deacon. So, like, fine, all those years of Rayna lying about Maddie is forgiven. Drunk Deacon is the worst of all time. Worse than Peggy! Worse than the Barilla pasta guy! Rayna throws the ring at him and walks away, which is the appropriately heartbreaking response. Ugh, those two.

Back in the present, Scarlett has come to see Deacon in jail. After several rejections he's finally accepted her visit, primarily so he can tell her to go away. He is SO hostile and mean, when she's just there to tell him that she's trying to secure his bail and help him get out. If she wants to help him, says Deacon, she should sell or burn down his house. Very constructive ideas, he's having. Scarlett says that a lot of people are praying for Rayna and Deacon, which seems to enrage him even further. He tells Scarlett that he's a damn drunk, and is no good to Scarlett or anybody. Scarlett tries to give him a self-confidence boost by noting that he's got some talents and has been like a father to her. Then he REALLY freaks out, in typical Deacon freak-out fashion, and gets the crazy eyes as he screams that he's not her father and he's nobody's damn father and she should quit coming. He punches the plexiglass between them, which seems extra unnecessary. He doesn't even have the excuse of being drunk this time! He's just a straight up rage-aholic.

Back at the house-burning party, Savannah proves herself to be especially sex-positive and tries to maul Gunnar right in the middle of the living room. Ah, youth. After a few seconds, Gunnar stops her, telling her that he just broke up with someone, and the very couch upon which they're making out is haunted by the ghost of Scarlett's scraggly weave and dulcet tones. He can't bear to get busy with another lady upon it. Savannah says that he has to get her out, and Gunnar wonders how he's supposed to do that. Savannah gets a shifty look in her eye, indicating that she has an idea. Cut to several party-goers, including Gunnar, hauling the couch outside and tossing it into a fire pit amongst lots of hoots and hollers. Gunnar squirts some gasoline onto it, and the flames get bigger, much to his delight. And then he gets a little overzealous, and the housewarming becomes a house-burning. Not literally, which is sort of sad but also good because I wouldn't want anything to happen to Will before we fully get to explore his closet situation. Gunnar lets out an aptly timed, "Oh crap."

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