The Red Lips White Lies tour has hit New York! It's spring break, so Rayna has brought along Tandy and her daughters for some girl time. Maddie of course has decided that she wants to be a big singing star like her idol Juliette Barnes, and Rayna is having none of it until Tandy insinuates that she's being just like Lamar. And then Rayna lets the girls do soundcheck on the big stage, and I was so excited to hear Lennon and Maisy Stella do a number UNTIL I realized it was that freaking Lumineers song. Must it be on EVERY TV show, commercial and movie trailer? Did T Bone Burnett sleep through this one? The girls were great, but enough already.
Juliette, meanwhile, has her britches in a knot over the fact that there is a giant billboard of Rayna Jaymes right outside her hotel window. She decides that she wants a multi-million endorsement deal too, and enlists sober coach slash $50-million blower Dante as a sort of career coach. She gets a deal with a smartphone company, but the fact that Jolene actually wants her daughter to care about their relationship more than money ruins everybody's good mood. Juliette makes up for it all by dedicating a song to her mom at the show, and then does whatever the opposite is of making up for it when she bangs Dante. Another fantastic life choice! She just keeps makin' 'em!
Deacon is also on tour, of course, and brings new lady vet girlfriend Stacy along with him. Lest you think he just wants a dog sitter with benefits, he actually seems to have some feelings for her and apparently the two have been inseparable. Stacy meets Juliette, who is sweet as a Cadbury egg, and Rayna, who can only manage to say "That's nice!" when Stacy introduces herself as Deacon's girlfriend. Eventually Stacy gets in a bit of a mood about the fact that Deacon has boned both of the feature acts on the tour and never bothered to tell her about it. Rayna lies to Deacon that Stacy is great and she's really happy for him, and Deacon wonders if it might be time to go off the road and settle down. BUT THEN HOW WILL HE AND RAYNA FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN? God, this show.
As will not surprise you, Teddy is totally banging Peggy in the bed of his and Rayna's house, despite Rayna's request that he keep it in his pants while on the premises. As will also not surprise you, Peggy shows up at the door wearing a trench coat with nothing underneath, because she's the worst. There was no beret atop her head, except in spirit. Lamar schemes about how to convince Teddy to build the baseball stadium on his land, and lands a winner when he finds out that it was Peggy who sold stories of Teddy and Rayna's divorce to the tabloids. She is really the dumb bitch to end all dumb bitches. Lamar threatens to reveal this information unless Peggy convinces Teddy to change his mind about the baseball stadium site. She gives it her best go, invoking the possibility of banging him in the governor's mansion one day. And just as Lamar is ready to toast his latest scheming victory with a glass of scotch and a hearty "Mwah ha ha ha!" he totally has a heart attack or something. But…now who will show up to be evil every so often?
In more romantic news, Gunnar and Scarlett are having a fantastic time being boyfriend-girlfriend UNTIL he learns that she was offered a contract with Rayna's label a month ago and hasn't told him about it. He distracts himself by bromancing their new upstairs neighbor, who is also a musician, and eventually Scarlett tells him that she won't sign the contract since they're partners and she owes her whole music career to him. But he tells her to sign it, since he's not a petty jealous jerk like Avery. And then they bone and say they love each other, not in that order.
And speaking of Avery, things aren't going so well for our master-burning lost soul. He meets up with Hailey and learns that he's only really of interest to the publishing company if he's attached to a label. He has to find a new record deal or pay back his advance. To make matters worse, Marilyn has blackballed him from playing basically any venue in town. While he's busking on the street corner he runs into former friend and bandmate JT, who gives him a hard time about his misfortunes before handing over contact info for a potential roadie gig. At the end of the episode Avery apparently gets the gig, and heads to New York to become a roadie for an unspecified tour that I'm guessing rhymes with "Zed Nips Slight Pies."
Previously: Rayna wanted to sign Scarlett as a solo artist after Gunnar was a no-show at their meeting due to dead brother rage/grief. All the woodchucks in the forest became VERY worried about how this would affect their king and queen's burgeoning romantic relationship. Deacon found a romantic interest who wasn't a lead on the Red Lips White Lies tour, while Juliette found a spot in her entourage for her rehabbing mom and mom's hot sober coach. Rayna gave Maddie her first guitar, while Avery seemingly burned his chances at ever making it in the music business along with his Dominic-produced masters.
We enter in New York City! Streets paved with gold! Rayna, Tandy and the girls are in a limo, which seems like an awfully nice way to see New York if you're a tween on spring break. The Red Lips White Lies tour has docked for a couple of days for shows at Brooklyn's Barclays Center, and Rayna is looking forward to doing some shopping and sightseeing with the kids. Maddie, meanwhile, is looking forward to hanging out backstage on the tour and talking to Juliette Barnes. She has no interest in museums or culture, even now that she's been smashed in the head by a bookshelf at Juliette's show. That's a loyal fan. The group then notices a giant billboard of Rayna in Times Square, from back when she sold out and shot those makeup ads. They joke about how she's huge -- literally! -- but Rayna is more impressed by the fact that she gets to spend time with the girls. And really, wouldn't it make more sense all around if she'd landed a hair product campaign?
Juliette and crew arrive in New York, which Jolene says is cleaner than she thought it would be. That's because her previous experience of New York likely centered around the Port Authority. Juliette tries to dump her mom on Emily, but Jolene suggests that they go see a Broadway show. But Juliette is too busy doing the lame rollout for her new single. Dante reminds her that she has a lot to be thankful for, and she snarkily chants that she's zen, positive and focused. Until, that is, she sees the giant billboard of Rayna -- right outside the window of her room. Well, isn't that a nice little karmic whopper!
Back in Nashville, Deacon, Sue and hot vet girlfriend -- whose name we finally learn is Stacy -- have coffee and snuggle time in the backyard. We learn that they've now been together for a month and have hardly spent any time apart since their first date. Also, she buys him fresh fruits and vegetables. So things are looking up for ol' Deke! She's not quite ready to bid him adieu as he heads back on the road, and so he suggests that she come with him. Seriously! Either Deacon really has no sense of the interpersonal awkwardness that is to come, or he's just trying to make Rayna jealous. Either way, the plane leaves today. And it's not like Stacy has a real job that she's been at for only five weeks or anything. She climbs on him to give him a kiss and ask if she'll be in his way, and I can't even imagine how we are to believe that they have any romantic chemistry when she is wearing freaking KEDS. Who IS this person and why is she delaying the inevitable Rayna and Deacon "reunited and it feels so good" hot sex scene?