I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 11 USERS: A
Four(teen) Tragedies and a Funeral

But nay. Rayna looks down, and Deacon gets a worried look. He asks how it's possible, and Rayna says that the fact that he doesn't remember is exactly how it's possible. Deacon wonders what that has to do with Rayna not telling him (e.g., don't bring up what a horrible drunk I was as foreshadowing for the even more horrible things that will happen later in this episode!), and she tells him to try to remember how he was at that time. He says he knows, and that he got sober. She reminds him again that it took five times in rehab, and he broke every stick of furniture in her apartment. That line is so weird that I feel it must have been improvised. Finally, Rayna says that she found out she was pregnant, talked about it with Teddy, and they decided to get married and do the paternity test after. And then she adds that Cole told her to cut Deacon loose because Cole wanted him to get better and thought that would solve all the problems. Which, I guess it did. EXCEPT FOR THIS GIANT HUGE PROBLEM, UGH. Also, way to sell out the one person that Deacon might call before breaking thirteen years of sobriety. Rayna starts to say that she and Teddy decided to do what was best for Maddie, and Deacon just goes, "She's mine?" Rayna confirms, and he runs out of the room. Rayna starts to cry, and a production guy tells her she's on in forty seconds. Deep dark secrets are bad, everyone! How many times do nighttime dramas need to tell us that before we will learn?

After a break, we see Rayna in a car, having changed out of her glamorous dress and left the CMAs. She calls Teddy to ask him to get to the house ASAP, since Maddie knows. She doesn't know how she knows, but unequivocally, Maddie knows. And I have to say, whatever you think of Rayna's decision around Maddie's paternity, huzzah for the good parenting move of going straight to taking care of Maddie in this situation, even though she's of course worried about Deacon too. Teddy is shocked by this news, and Rayna tells him that she needs him to be a partner in this. He's on it, which also speaks well for Teddy.

And then we're at 7th and Fogg, where Avery's on stage. He introduces a song about an amazing woman who happens to have just taken a seat in the audience. It's Scarlett, duh. And surprise, surprise, he brings her on stage with him because everybody brings her on stage with them. That's how you get a record deal, apparently -- just hang out in enough places where someone cajoles you on stage. The song is called "The Moon Is High," and I think it's about Avery being the big bad wolf. It is not my favorite song to have ever come out of this show, in part because Avery sounds like a child molester. Not helping is the fact that Scarlett sounds like a child. Gunnar enters and sidles up to the bar, obviously not thrilled to see his ladyfriend singing a sultry/creepy ballad with her ex. He does not threaten to huff and puff and blow the stage down, though.

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