I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 11 USERS: A
Four(teen) Tragedies and a Funeral

Back at the cemetery, Rayna and Juliette have a heart to heart, both looking uber-glamorous in black mourning-chic. Rayna says that she lost her mother too, though under different circumstances (MUCH different circumstances, I'd add), and so has some idea how Juliette feels. Juliette says, not unkindly, that Rayna doesn't know what it was like to grow up with a mom like that. She grew up in the dirt, and everything was filthy. And now she gets to put Jolene back in the dirt. Juliette says that she lived her life knowing that this day would come. And there really probably was a time in her adolescence when she was like, "Yeah, murder-suicide is a likely option." She admits that she both dreaded that moment coming and wanted it, then hated herself for wanting it. Juliette always thought that if she was good enough, that Jolene would be all right. She tried to be good, but always was going to fail. Rayna tells her that it's not true -- that she's good enough. They look at each other for a while, but manage not to hug. Still, it's a nice moment. Juliette then asks if Deacon's coming. Rayna doesn't know. Sigh.

And then Gunnar shows up at Deacon's house, only to find Deacon throwing up off of the side of his porch. Is that slow enough for you? Ugh. Deacon notes that his key won't work in his door. Gunnar then opens the door without a problem, obviously. Gunnar asks if Deacon has been drinking, and the clanging of bottles in the bag that Deacon picks up speaks for itself. Deacon asks why Gunnar is there, and it turns out that Gunnar has come for romantic advice. Deacon has none, and shuts the door in Gunnar's face. Gunnar calls Scarlett quick, telling her to get Cole there ASAP.

And then we're at Jolene's funeral service. As we've seen, Rayna is there, along with Bo, Glenn and Emily. And then Avery walks up and stands in the back of the small crowd as the preacher finishes up. Juliette gets hugs all around, then spots Avery. He hugs her and says he's sorry, and also that he didn't realize it was a private service. But she's glad that he came, and actually has a favor to ask. That he shave that soul patch in honor of Jolene's memory? Cool.

And then we're back at Deacon's place, where Cole and Scarlett have shown up. Cole tries to open the locked door, and Deacon screams to go away. We hear something crashing and breaking. Fortunately, Cole is a big strong guy and gets the door open, asking Deacon what he's doing. Deacon screams at him to get out of his house, and wonders why he'd bring an obviously quite frightened Scarlett there. Deacon gives Gunnar some unsolicited advice, telling him to get away from Scarlett because he's not good enough for her. He turns to Scarlett to tell her that Gunnar is broken inside. And then he saves up his best for Cole, yelling that he's not listening to him or his AA crap anymore. It's Deacon's wisdom hour, everybody! Just as terrifying as you'd suspect. Cole tries to remain calm as Deacon continues to yell at him to get out of his house. But Cole won't, and as Deacon tries to leave, he grabs him. Deacon turns to try and clock Cole right in the face, but misses and falls down. So, that part was at least a little funny in the midst of this horror show, right? Nice pratfall, Chip Esten! I like to think that's a hangover from his Whose Line Is It Anyway days. The whole group (including a VERY frightened Scarlett) picks Deacon up off the floor, and then he charges at Cole. He pins him against some furniture and yells, "CUT ME LOOSE!" Ugggggggggggh. Of all the things that Rayna has done that are not so great, invoking that particular advice from Cole was perhaps the worst of all. Or maybe Cole should have minded his beeswax in terms of romantic affairs? In any case, this is all the worst. Not the absolute worst, though. We'll get to that in a minute.

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