Back at rehearsal, Rayna and Juliette are, to put it mildly, not having luck agreeing on a song. Juliette wants something exciting, Rayna wants something authentic. As a bonus, Liam and Deacon have a little moment of their own, which Liam seems to find hilarious. Juliette, for whom humility is a foreign emotion, thinks that Rayna should be happy that Juliette is there to expand her fan base. Rayna (quite correctly) counters that she thought they were there because Juliette has fans whose parents don't want them looking up to a shoplifter. Because he is the best, Liam cracks up, while Deacon is frustrated that these two can't come together for one measly song. Follow your diva foremothers and sing, "When You Believe!" Or maybe "Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves?" For the moment, though, neither Juliette nor Rayna seems entirely focused on the conscious liberation of the female state.
Ha! And then Peggy and Teddy have a clandestine meeting... by phone. He's walking along a bridge in the dark, while she sits in her car in some sort of desolate place. I thought the whole point of a shady phone call was that you could do it from anywhere? Teddy explains the situation with the photos, and says that he thinks Peggy should tell her husband what's going on. She seems disappointed when he reminds her that she can say with all honesty that there's nothing going on with them romantically. Peggy Kenter murder: still a good idea.
Back at the club, there is lots of awkward white-people dancing. Gunnar can't take his eyes off of Scarlett, who is having what he thinks is a little too much fun with her new dude. Hailey notes that this is the point of the whole evening, but Gunnar doesn't want Scarlett to do something she'll regret. Like have an enjoyable time once? And then the WORST THING HAPPENS. The band starts in with the music to "Ring of Fire," and Scarlett approaches the stage to say how much she loves this song. EVERYBODY loves this song. Pipe down, Blondie. But because this is Scarlett, the lead singer of the band says, "Come on up here, pretty girl." People are always just throwing jobs and lead vocal opportunities her way! How magical it is to be her! Scarlett bumbles up on stage in her usual, "Who aw shucks li'l ole me?" way, and grabs the microphone. And what happens from there is only slightly worse than this. Objectively, I think that Scarlett has the best voice of the female leads, but this is not her jam. It's like Bieber singing "Folsom Prison Blues." No. Nyet. Nein. It's not "Ring of Glowing Votive Candles," nor "Ring of Fairy Dust." And she smiles so hard through the whole thing that she actually turns cross-eyed. If I were in that audience, I'd throw a casserole dish of pink macaroni directly at her head. Gunnar of course is totally charmed, because he is an idiot too. Hailey starts to be less of an idiot, and seems a little suspicious about precisely how charmed Gunnar appears to be.