As was indicated in the last episode, Juliette and Dante are having ALL the sexytimes. They have to figure out what to do about the Jolene situation, and Juliette is all for keeping quiet about their liaison until MethMom is a little stronger. They nearly get busted by Rayna, who has come to Juliette's room to let her know that she's having a family emergency and will have to head back to Nashville. Juliette is nice in offering her private jet, but unhappy about the prospect of cancelling their New York show.
Deacon, fresh from giving Stacy the key to his house, runs into Avery, who is indeed now a roadie on Juliette's tour. He hears about Lamar and leaves Rayna a message, saying that he's thinking about her. OH MY GOD YOU TWO PLEASE JUST BONE! Seriously, this is getting a little ridiculous. Juliette has decided that she'll just do the whole dang show herself, and wants Deacon to get the band up to speed on ten new songs. Meanwhile, Jolene almost relapsed at the mini-bar and nobody -- including her sober coach -- really gives a rat. She wonders if she and Dante should go home to focus on her therapy. No one else is really into the "and Dante" part of that idea.
The band is not thrilled about having to learn all the new material, and with Dante's encouragement Juliette is being a royal beeyotch. Deacon is not feeling it, and when she announces that Dante's support for all of her ideas, he wonders if she's also getting career advice from the cable guy. BURN. She storms off to go have sex with Dante while the band learns the material, and Avery just happens to catch them in flagrante as he goes onto her bus (with general permission) looking for some equipment. Juliette doesn't see him but Dante does, and he wastes little time in firing Avery. That kid really cannot catch a break these days. Deacon learns about the whole shebang and wonders who Dante is to fire anyone, and the two have a confrontation in which Deacon is pretty disgusted by the situation and calls out Dante on his shadiness. And then of course Jolene eventually makes a play for Dante, because everyone involved in this particular triangle could not be grosser. Juliette sends Jolene back to Nashville to find her own damn apartment, and in the process fires Dante as Jolene's sober coach so he can be her manager.
Rayna has quite a time at the hospital, where Lamar first tells her she's not really needed, then freaks out when he sees a visiting Watty, then has another heart attack. It turns out (as we all called in, like, episode three), that Watty is the man with whom Rayna's mother had an affair. Both Watty and Tandy confirmed that the affair and her mother's intent to leave the marriage basically turned Lamar into the slithering bastard he is today. Rayna volunteers to stay at the hospital overnight with the unconscious Lamar, and calls Deacon with a long message. Deacon listens to it after Juliette's solo show, then has a big blowout with Juliette, and then hightails it back to Nashville to see Rayna. They hug with crackling sexual tension and their distinct mix of requited and unrequited love, and have a long heart to heart about the Watty situation and their younger days. It turns out they've known each other since they were teenagers, which is so sweet I want to die. Then he leaves and she tells him to say hi to Stacy, which, GAH. Rayna talks to the unconscious Lamar about how she wishes he would have told her about her mother, and that they'd not been angry at each other all these years. His eyes open, so: not dead. Meanwhile, Deacon heads back to Stacy's house and tries to muster up some excitement, while Tandy (taking over as CFO of Lamar Evil Industries) discovers Peggy's sinister relationship with the tabloids and wastes no time in telling Teddy about it.
Then there's Scarlett and Gunnar. She's signed the contract, and Gunnar wants them to have a day of celebration. They start with mimosas, have sexytimes, then go to a bar with new hot neighbor Will. Will is both a ladies' man and an attention whore, and pulls Scarlett on stage to sing like everyone always does. Her lip syncing continues to be wretched, but of course everyone loves her. She confesses to Will that she's worried about Gunnar, who has been having nightmares and been unable to write since Jason's death. After putting a drunken Scarlett to bed, Will and Gunnar head out for some fun. And it turns out that Will's idea of fun is to play chicken with an oncoming train. Gunnar is really mad about this until he realizes he wants to do it again. After they flirt with death all night, he finally gets his inspiration back and starts to write again, while Scarlett has her first meeting with Edgehill and gets the royal treatment. Maybe they'll finally get her a decent weave, at least?
Previously:Gunnar and Scarlett met new hunky neighbor Will, a singer-songwriter from Texas who was all cowboy hat and smiles and impressive biceps. Tandy told Rayna that their mom had a "friend," because Tandy is 1,000 years old on the inside. Do you thinks she calls gay guys "fancy men" too? A down-on-his-luck Avery considered a roadie gig. Juliette set to town seducing Jolene's sober coach, Dante... or was it he who seduced her with his impressive business acumen and nonsensical chants about being zen and mature? Gunnar convinced Scarlett to sign the solo contract with Rayna's new label, and Lamar's last act before having a heart attack was to blackmail Peggy into helping him with the stadium deal. She was the one who sold the story of Teddy and Rayna's divorce to the tabloids, and her disguise while doing so (a beret, natch) was apparently not particularly effective.
We open the show with sexytimes, which in truth is how Nashville should always begin. It's Juliette and Dante, which comes as no surprise. And really, why have a hotel room that nice if you're not going to bone somebody in it? Rayna should take note. Dante totally ruins the mood by saying that they should talk about Jolene. He crossed the line (a couple of lines, I'd say) and before he crosses it again, he wants them to think it through. Neither of them wants this to be a one-time thing, so Dante says he should resign as Jolene's sober companion. What kind of bullshit job is "sober companion," anyway? No offense to the sober companions out there, aside from the ones who are acting wildly inappropriate and banging their clients' daughters and such. Juliette says that Jolene is still fragile, so maybe they should just keep their sheets-rolling on the QT until she's stronger. He says it's not the healthiest way, but doesn't have any better ideas. And so they go back to banging.
But then there's a knock on the door! Dante scurries away like a little guilty field mouse, and Juliette goes to the door to find Rayna. Rayna has interrupted middle of the night sexytimes to tell Juliette that she's had a family emergency -- Lamar's heart attack, of course -- and has to go back to Nashville pronto. Juliette is very gracious in offering up her jet, and asks if Rayna will be back for the show tonight. Rayna says she might have to cancel their sold-out show, which raises Juliette's eyebrows something fierce.