Oh no, and then we're with Juliette in the studio! She is singing this gem of a lyric: "She was sitting there with her beehive hair and said honey that's a waste of good mascara / She handed me a pink Kleenex and I'll never forget what she said next." When you are enthusiastically rhyming "Kleenex" with "next," it can only mean that something dreadful is about to happen. In this case, that's the chorus of the song, which is about boys and buses having a lot in common. Randy is in the sound booth and as they isolate her vocals he says, "Don't worry, we can fix that." By "that" he means her singing. Her manager guy thanks God for Auto-Tune, and is clearly unimpressed. Like, terminally unimpressed. Randy, however, is enjoying all the eye-fucking that Juliette is dropping on him. He calls her a heartbreaker and manager guy in turn calls her a moneymaker, and we instantly know which of these two is smarter. All this talk of Juliette's fame and wealth begs the question of why she can't hire someone decent to do her hair.
Meanwhile, Rayna is driving with her girls, who ask her if she'll be back from tour in time for Halloween. They want to go on tour with her, which she says will only happen after they graduate from college. And then we are reminded that kids are born to break your heart when they hear Juliette's black mascara song on the radio, turn it up, and start singing along -- in harmony! The universe is conspiring against Rayna Jaymes and also you can't stop kids from having crap taste in music. To wit: I could still probably sing every word off of Tiffany's first album.
Miranda Lambert sings us into the next scene, which has Rayna looking into the mirror and pulling the skin of her face taut. Teddy says that she's beautiful, and if she ever gets a facelift he's going to leave her. I think in this case that's actually a point in the "pro" column. He asks what's wrong and she quite succinctly says "everything." Rayna tells Teddy about the "co-headlining" proposal and he asks if it's really such a terrible idea. We're just counting down the episodes until he bangs Juliette, right? Teddy says that Rayna can walk away and quit right now and she points out that in fact she can't if they want to keep living in their house. We get confirmation that Teddy went bust and ostensibly put them in the poor rich-house, but he says that he's working on "some deals" that should put them in a better position. In the meantime, Teddy proposes, she could borrow money from her dad. But that is eeeeeeeeevilllllllll money! Collected from all manner of evil deeds! Doesn't he know this? Rayna would rather wait tables than take her daddy's money and for some reason her strong sense of dignity and self-respect makes Teddy mad. Stop being such a puss and go get a job! God. Their fight then transitions to being about Tandy, who Rayna says is Lamar's handmaiden, but who Teddy sees as future rich evil person in charge. For him, that's a positive. Teddy gets that Lamar was and is a lousy father and a son of a bitch. His own father was a drunk, he says. And also probably shiftless and this is why Teddy is so keen on taking what appears to be easy money. Rayna argues that Teddy thinks he knows Lamar, but doesn't. She manages not to tell him to get a job, which to my mind shows great restraint, and says she'll think of something.