Someday You'll Call My Name

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Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Back at the recording studio, Scarlett is being dumb again. Just, always. Though I guess modern recording technology must be hard to deal with for someone who's never experienced electricity before! "Well, Mister Whiiite, I's just used to harmonizin' with the li'l ole' chiiipmuuuunks from under my mossy rooooock." Watty and Gunnar are both supportive, but after another biffed attempt Watty suggests they stop for the day. Scarlett apologizes profusely, and Watty pulls Gunnar aside for a talk.

Meanwhile, Rayna and her assistant are going through her fabulous wardrobe while her girls dance around and sing to George Jones on the radio. Oh my God, will Rayna adopt me? I mean, except for the part where she breaks up our happy family with her forthcoming infidelity. As the radio announcer starts talking about Rayna and Deacon's number at the Bluebird and introduces "No One Will Ever Love You," Rayna turns the radio off. Maddie says that she likes that song. Rayna does too. But: feelings. The assistant leaves and comes back with a delivery for Rayna -- a $500,000 check from Lamar. When Daphne asks what's wrong, Rayna says, "It's just your paw-paw being your paw-paw." And, awww, even evil guys have cute grandpa names.

Back at the OTHER recording studio, Juliette is doing her vocal take for "Undermine." As the door opens she yells that they're in the middle of something, until she realizes it's Deacon. Then she's all smiles and sweetness and flirting. T minus three minutes until they're in bed together.

And then, alas, we go back to Scarlett and Gunnar. He's running after her in the parking lot, and she's despondent about the fact that she blew it. But it turns out that Watty is still going to give their stuff to a publisher, after he finds someone else to sing on the demo with Gunnar. This gives Scarlett a sad. I mean, she sewed a new dress out of her grandma's tablecloths and ever'thang. You can tell that Gunnar wants Scarlett to buck up, get it together, and sing, but Scarlett eventually says that this will probably be better for her and Avery, and Gunnar can just tell her if she needs to do anything. I sure hope Scarlett goes through a gradual process of de-bumpkin-ization soon, because it's getting a little hard to take. Or else maybe the season finale will be entitled, "Scarlett's IQ Test."

Back at the Jaymes/Conrad manse, Rayna asks Teddy if he asked for a loan from Lamar. He didn't, but says that Lamar knows their situation since Teddy had to disclose his finances for the campaign. It turns out that the check came with a whole lot of stipulations for Rayna. Such as: she can't release a new record unless it's a best of; she can't tour until after Teddy's election; if he wins she can't tour until the second half of his term; unless he's reelected, in which case her tour has to be limited to no more than fifteen venues. Rayna is clearly furious, and Teddy calmly tells her that it's not feasible and to tear up the check. After a pause, Rayna suggests that Teddy talk to someone named Billy about getting a loan against the house. After all, Teddy was on the board of the Credit Union for years, and it's not like he had suspicious papers that was burning just the other night or anything. Rayna offers to go and talk to Billy, too, but Teddy says he'll handle it. I mean, he's proven himself so adept at navigating tricky financial situations in the past, after all.

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