Alphas
Never Let Me Go

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Murder by Broken Heart
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

A young woman is pursued screaming across an empty high school football stadium by a letter-jacketed jock, but it's okay, they're just playing. What a Whedonesque reversal. Then they're macking in the abandoned bleachers. He hears a noise, but they blow it off until a hulking man with a half-melted face bursts out and grabs the girl. Boyfriend sends him sprawling with a well-placed kick, which is when they recognize the ruined face as none other than...Mr. Howard! Whoever that is.

Speaking of sprawling, Rachel is bringing a date back to Nina's massive loft, where she's currently staying while on the outs with her asshole parents. Dude is impressed not only with the place, but her ability to analyze the recipe of everything they ate at dinner just by taste. More macking commences, but this time it goes even worse, as Rachel seems to literally overheat, glowing orange like a Best Actress Oscar nominee before breaking the clinch and sending him home in a panic. I think if you were going to make out with somebody who has super-senses you'd want to do some extra flossing first.

Next morning at work, Rachel's refusing to talk to Nina about last night. Rosen joins everyone in the break room to deliver their new official ID badges, thanks to Agent Sullivan. The initials on the badges read DCIS, short for Defense Criminal Investigative Services, which, none of them knows what that means. Either that, or they're in denial about being another spinoff of NCIS, like that wouldn't be a step up.

In Rachel's office, Rosen's the next one to start trying to nose into Rachel's personal life. He gets shut down as well, but he still invites her along on a road trip to Fenton, Pennsylvania. He then apparently spends the whole drive to the Main Street USA-looking town briefing Rachel on the rash of deaths in the town due to "rapid-onset organ failure," and the CDC has struck out. Once they arrive and step out onto the sidewalk, Rachel senses yellow auras around the townspeople. It looks like they've been heavily pollinated, but she says it's the smell of fear. Easily the best Naked Gun sequel.

Back from the ads, Rosen and Rachel are wandering the streets so Rachel can listen in to the locals exchanging wild theories about the cause of the mysterious deaths. Just then they run into a Dr. Calder from the CDC, played by original Bionic Woman Lindsay Wagner for reasons that are not going to be explained. She says they were just leaving, but she hung out to talk to the "DCIS." She explains that the fear centers of the victims' brains, the amygdales, were heavily damaged. So people are getting scared to death? Wonder if that beats being bored to death. I only feel in danger of one of those right now, and I'll let you guess which one.

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Alphas

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