Jessica then busts out with, "What's a bratsworth? Is that a pig or a cow?" Actually, I think it's an upper-middle-class suburb of Connecticut. "It's white," Jessica says. Which also supports my thesis. She can't figure out if it's "bratsworth" or "brastworth," even though the word she's fumbling for is "bratwurst," and you'd think she'd know that because she puts the "brat" in it. Jessica decides that Nick would know what's in a bratwurst, and why it's white, because he's the expert on porking in this relationship. She calls him at ESPN Zone and actually asks him what kind of animal is the chief ingredient in "the white thing you eat with sauerkraut." Ma Simpson giggles vapidly. "He says [it's] pork," Jessica reports. "Why is bratsworth white?" she asks. "Is it the German pig, and they're white inside?" Honey, you're not going to get asked to be a spokeswoman for German sausage -- nor for a prude New England town -- so stop trying. ["Also, bratwurst is pink. Weisswurst is white. Shut up, Jessica." -- Sars] Nick is trying not to listen, and totally gets caught out on watching the game and not caring what she's saying. Jessica wants him to poll the group for an answer to the mythical question, "Why is bratwurst white?" She pauses. Then she covers the phone and laughs, "He says, 'I'm not going to ask them!'" They hang up.
Ma Simpson suddenly has an epiphany. "I know why!" she cheers. "It's a boar?" Jessica asks. If you are referring to this topic of conversation, and you are playing with homophones, then yes, yes, it is a boar. But I doubt that's what she's doing, since she likely thinks a "homophone" is what one uses to call the Queer Eye lads into action. Anyway, back to The Jackholes: Ma Simpson's grand theory about why bratwursts are white is, "Pork chops are white!" Jessica blinks. "Okay," she says slowly. "So, it's the chop of a pork?" Ma Simpson starts laughing really hard, which is the only thing that leads me to think they're trying to stage this conversation. I really do think they're both exactly this stupid, so I don't think they're intelligent enough to pull off a wholly faked conversation; I do, however, think they can probably identify a Chicken of the Sea moment when they're in the middle of one, and might then choose to play it up as much as they can. Hence, they are trying to mine this one for gold a second time. "Perplexing," Jessica announces to the camera. Quite.