Jessica is ready for the shoot. She's wearing a white satiny corset-style top and low-rise jeans, with her hair in loose curls that wave around her face. Tom Thumb tells her to be innocent and sensuous, holding a cupcake and licking the frosting off her finger. Is this guy a real photographer? I feel like this pose is the first assignment in Remedial Fashion Photography at the Long Island Upstairs College of VCR Repair. Jessica sucks on her finger, wipes it through layer after layer of hot pink frosting, and pouts at the camera. Tom Thumb's missing digit is really more of a stump. He's got half a thumb. He probably lost the other half in a tragic soldering accident during the Flashdance class at his aforementioned alma mater. Suddenly, Tom Thumb isn't happy. He frowns. He needs to change the cupcake. The one they're using really just isn't the best one. What, it's not talented enough? Backstage, Brad giggles to Nick that they want to have a contest to see who can eat the most Dessert before throwing up. "I'm going to be on a sugar high!" Jessica preens, wiping her finger through another cupcake's frosting. Then something drops to the floor with a thud. She jumps ten feet. "What was that?" she gasps. Everyone there cracks up, which indicates that they're all already high on something else.
Apparently, the stress of having the crap scared out of Jessica prompts them all to take a brief break. "I thought I got shot!" Jessica exhales, flopping down on the couch. Oh, now there is a picture: Jessica licking sugar off her finger with a giant oozing bullet hole where her left nipple would be. It would seem, sadly for him, that Tom Thumb stored all his artistic vision in the lost fingertip. Nick and the gang tease Jessica about how sick she's going to get from gobbling all that icing, and Brad wants to get her a chuck bucket.
Jessica gets back up to take more photos. Tom Thumb tells her to put yet more of the frosting on her finger, and she actually manages to mess that up, because it requires a part of the brain that can well, it requires her to have part of a brain. Incidentally, I looked at the Sephora site, which is pimping Dessert, and they used one of these photos. However, in what I like to think of as Tom Thumb's Subtle Revenge, the photo that was chosen makes it look like she has four fingers and no thumb on her right hand. He's all, "Yeah, thumbs up on the picture, bitch!" It obscures the other thumb, too, but in a more logical way, because that hand's got the cupcake in it. The company also is hawking a product called "Deliciously Kissable Belly Button Love Potion Fragrance." Personally, I can't imagine flavored navel grease coming in handy. If I rubbed a bunch of that into my belly button and then cooed at my boyfriend to eat up from his own personal Dessert bowl, he'd be like, "Are you kidding me with that shit? I need a beer."