Jessica starts to get sick as the shoot continues. The music grinds to a halt. Nick moseys over to make sure his wife isn't about to throw up all over the costume, because that might cost actual money to replace, and he's not making any of that right now. Jessica holds a bagel chip. Huh? She closes her eyes and horses her lips again as some dim bulb next to her holds Jessica's fairy princess pink shoe up in her face. As if sniffing her own foot odor will settle her roiling stomach. "Where's the closest bathroom?" Jessica moans, piling her hair on top of her head. She crouches down on the restroom floor. Nick peeks in to check up on her, and she self-indulgently wails something unintelligible in reply. God. She's such an attention whore that she has to turns something that was already All About Her into something that's even more Jessica-centric. Her mother brings Jessica a plate of food, which she promptly puts down at her feet. It's a plate of crackers and cheeses, and a hunk of French bread that looks to be topped with slabs of Brie. Rich cheese as Pepto Bismol? Oh, Ma Simpson, you homeopathic genius, you. Of course, someone makes the inevitable morning-sickness jokes, and Jessica just squirms and whines and shoves floor saltines into her mouth and whimpers some more.
Jessica curls up on the couch. Apparently, she's spent the last three hours throwing up. One thing's certain here: I'm definitely not buying any so-called edible Dessert products. Everyone decides that they have to reschedule the shoot, which will save them several hours and the sight of Jessica moping around screeching about her stomach. "I don't think the pictures will be very cute," Jessica agrees. Ma Simpson says something dumb about how Jessica is still cute. I guess we know who gives her all those ideas about her appeal. Shut up, Ma. Tom Thumb, visibly put out, gives his assistants the er pointer-fingers-up to start dismantling the set. "We're not always this dramatic," Nick lies. Oh, please. She is the most suggestible person on the planet -- tell her you heard she's pregnant, and she starts throwing up. Hey, Jessica? I heard you ate nails and got a lobotomy.









Comments