Nick and Jessica sit on their couch talking about the first year and how it was "really, really good" with lessons learned and lots of "cool experiences" they shared together, but, he adds, not enough sex. She juts out her jaw and bares her uppers and says that he's so deprived and asks why he always says that. After the mini-spat, he finishes his previous thought and adds that they're going to enjoy their anniversary weekend. "And work on having more sex," Jessica adds, not meaning it one bit. I think Nick's reasons for saying that they don't have enough sex are twofold. One: Jessica Simpson is a very sexy woman and it must be lots of fun to have sex with her. Two: sex is probably the only time she's not farting, burping, asking inane questions about the world like a two-year-old, or forgetting where she put something. On second thought, she probably does all of those things during sex, too. I guess it must just be because she's hot, then.
Credits. Theme. Shots of their wedding. The kiss. Nick carries Jessica by her ass across the threshold. They fight. He "records" a song. Rubs her face. She records. He sings. Their house. "This I swear." And end.
House. Night. Photo of Dumb and Dumberer. D&D sit on the couch. It seems that Jessica's dad has scheduled her to perform in Atlantic City on her wedding anniversary. Nick is upset and says "Bullshit" when Jessica tries to say that Daddy doesn't know when their anniversary is. Jessica says he's too busy on the phone every day "booking stuff." What's he got to book? No one's booking anything. Jessica wears a Tom Petty shirt. I'm pretty sure Jessica has no idea who Tom Petty is. "Um, he's a race car driver, right?" Jessica hits a 5.5. on the Pout Scale, and Nick backs off and says that wherever they are, at least they'll be together. The man doesn't believe that for a second. She reaches a 7.3 as she says that she wanted to go "somewhere." He suddenly gets a job for the Atlantic City tourism board, lying that he thinks AC is even better than Vegas. Ha. That's not even true in Bizarro World.
Montage of Atlantic City. Here's what MTV chooses for their Comedic Montage Of Crap Locales And Scary People Showing That Atlantic City Is Not A Nice Place As Nick Just Said: lots of black people. I'm not making this up, I'm just reporting. Black kids walking. A black man in a wheelchair. A big fat black man walking with a yellow shopping bag. Black folks walking on the pier. And then a pawn shop. Well, congratulations, MTV. This show has now insulted more segments of the population than just Stupid People.