Newlyweds

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | 491 USERS: C+
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I'll Have The Coffee

Whistling music starts, which the Captioners describe as "Macabre Organ Music." Wha? Nick and Drew walk around the pool area trying to clean up dead birds that have apparently crashed into the window. Or maybe they've been scared by the crows. Or by Jessica's singing. Montage of Dead Bird Cleaning. They put the birds into plastic bags with a shovel. Nick thinks one of them chirps at him. Drew suggests that he put the dead bird bag into the freezer to scare Jessica. He says he'd be divorced. Shot of crows again. Please stop it.

Inside, Jessica says she's going shopping. And that's it.

Next time on. Nick and Jessica go to do a VH1 taping. In the makeup room, Jessica tries to memorize some lines she has in French. Nick says it's going to take all day. On the set, Jessica says they were supposed to be there for two hours only, but now they've been there for five. Backstage. A PA reads off restaurants for them to order food from. Jessica thinks "Oriental Seafood" is "Anal Seafood." People laugh. The MTV Marketing Department gets to work printing new t-shirts. Also, a high-school band in Detroit rename themselves "Anal Seafood." The mother of the lead singer makes them change it back to "Scab Pickers" the next morning. Nick asks who in the right mind would name their restaurant "Anal Seafood." "That's what I want to know," says Jessica. Bye!

Newlyweds

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