Meanwhile, the employees who actually try to do stuff are on a conference call with the media spokesman for TEPCO, which runs the failing Fukushima power plant. He doesn't speak English, but Dr. Dr. Sloan is fluent in Japanese, so she translates for everyone. She also takes this opportunity to catch up with the spokesman, who is, of course, an old friend. That's how we get news stories. I'm only able to recap this show because my cousin owns a TV store and my best friend's dad works at HBO. Also, if you think it's weird that TEPCO's spokesman doesn't speak English, Martin asked the same question. "I don't know," Dr. Dr. Sloan says and all is forgotten. MacKenzie walks in and calls Maggie and Jim out of the room to leave the actual newspeople to do real work. Maggie and Jim, on the other hand, have been placed on a "rotten assignment." "You have gum in your hair again?" Jim asks. "No! Yes, but I got it out," MacKenzie says. Emily Mortimer is never going to be as funny as Tina Fey, so please, writers -- let her stop having to try.
Jim and Maggie have to do "opposition research" on Will because of Maggie's HR complaint. Jim says okay. Maggie has no idea what's going on, as usual. Jim asks her about the HR complaint, and Maggie reveals Will yelled at her for mixing up the state of Georgia with the country of Georgia. "You thought the Russians invaded Atlanta?" Jim asks. I hope his stupid crush on her can end now that his has definitive proof that Maggie is a moron. Also, this happened during that invasion, which was in 2008 (during the Olympics, I believe?) but Maggie told Jim it happened a year ago, which would have been 2010. So we messed up history for the sole purpose of making Maggie look even stupider than usual.
Oh, and it's all irrelevant anyway, because it turns out that Will wasn't actually mad about his assistant's poor knowledge of geography, but because she sent flowers on his behalf to a board member whose wife had died. She wrote on the card: "I'm so sorry about your loss. LOL." "I thought it meant 'lots of love,'" Maggie explains. No. No. This show takes place in 2011, not 1911. There is no reason why Maggie -- who is 26 years old and thus has lived the majority of her life in a time when LOL was pretty commonplace -- wouldn't know that. My freaking grandmother knows what LOL means. I have child cousins who live in other countries and speak different languages who know what LOL means. "How are you still working here?" Jim asks quietly. Seriously, how is she able to work anywhere? She is not a functional human being. Even MacKenzie, who can't chew gum without getting it stuck in her hair, is better at this than she is. Maggie responds by doing this loud song and dance about how good she is at dodging bullets that I guess we're supposed to find redeeming and entertaining.