Jack explains his relative youth as "I did everything early" and he's heard all the Doogie Howser jokes. He asks Will why he finally decided to stop by. Will says he wants something to help him sleep. "Why?" Jack asks. "I can't sleep," Will says. "Why?" Jack asks. "I don't know," Will says. Jack asks if he's changed his diet recently. Will says he hasn't changed it ever, except for the awesome new sandwich he eats every night: scrambled eggs, bacon and cheese on toast. "You invented an Egg McMuffin," Jack says. Um, no, it's not an Egg McMuffin. And Egg McMuffin is on an English Muffin. Everyone who wasn't a child prodigy knows that.
Will just wants his sleeping pill, but Jack insists that they talk first. I don't know why Will thought this was going to work out any better than seeing his physician. Last time Will saw Jack's dad, he was on Effexor, Klonopin and Ativan. Now, he doesn't take anything. "I was cured," he says. Jack says he is, except for the inability to sleep, and asks if Will has had any extra stress at work lately. Will says no. Jack's next question is "What are you fucking around with me for?" Jack reads the news, so he knows that someone threatened to kill Will. Wow, that made the news? I'll bet it was those sharp eyes at TMI who reported it! Will claims it's not serious, but Jack points out that it was apparently serious enough to have to hire Terry Crews as his bodyguard. Will blames ACN's insurance company for this. Jack finally gets Will to explain what happened: "I changed the rules of the comments section of our website. That's all." Oh, please let this be Sorkin's latest statement on how the Internet is full of crazy people. Nothing would bring me more joy.
Some time ago -- maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe years -- Will ended the show with a new feature: viewer comments from the website. Because everyone on the Internet is horrible, Will has to read comments from people like "LollypopLollypop," who says "30 more seconds and you would have had that self-loathing hypocrite in tears." Will informs LollypopLollypop that that was not his intention. We will find out who the self-loathing hypocrite is later in the show, so just go with it, crazy Internet people. SurrendrDorothee says: "Your Log Cabin closet case hit the Uncle Tom Daily Double -- a traitor to his race and a traitor to his sexual orientation." "Don't blow a gasket," MacKenzie warns from the control room. Will says that the closet case is actually openly gay and "showed a lot of courage" by appearing on NewsNight -- certainly more than an anonymous website commenter has.