It's election night at ACN! Spoiler alert: Obama wins. Also: Taylor is back! She's ACN's newest analyst, and spends most of her camera time fighting with everyone, which is great. Even better is when Dr. Dr. Sloan tries to defend Will's rampant criticism of Republicans by pointing out that he once reported on a Democratic president's military's use of sarin gas, although that did turn out to not be true at all, whoops.
Speaking of the Dantana debacle, Charlie, Will, and MacKenzie still want to resign even though Jane Fonda won't let them. Charlie asks Reese to help him out, but he says he can't because his mom thinks he's gay. And because she's his boss. Marcia Gay Harden skulks around the premises to show off her "liquid sex"-ness (I don't know, but she said like 10 times, so I guess it's important) and make sure no one resigns. Also to inform Don that Dantana is suing him for $20 million because Don told someone who called for a job reference that Dantana was a sociopath. Well, that was dumb.
Speaking of dumb, Jim doesn't know Michigan from Mississippi and accidentally tells ACN to call an election in the wrong state. Instead of retracting it, he hopes no one will notice because Charlie is threatening to make whoever screws up work for the NYC Department of Sanitation. Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Those guys probably make more money and have much better job security than 99 percent of journalists. Dantana should work there.
Maggie, meanwhile, manages not to make any mistakes! And, thanks to Taylor, gets a scoop that a Congressman once wrote that most women cry rape. Don asks the Congressman's office for comment and is promised a big scoop with on the record sources if ACN ignores the story. That scoop? That all kinds of weird things are about to happen with the director of the CIA and his biographer, who he's having an affair with. That's a big story, but ACN's not really in the best position right now to run it.
And in the really important storylines, Dr. Dr. Sloan feels bad about accidentally faking out someone who bought a book she didn't sign from an ACN charity auction for $1,000 and MacKenzie spends a good part of election night fretting over the fact that her Wikipedia page says she went to Oxford instead of Cambridge. Good news, though! She manages to convince Will (after way too much rehashing of their past relationship) to fire her over Genoa, and he does – effective at the end of the broadcast, which will continue in next week's episode.
I'm back! Did you guys have fun with Kim while I was away? Did you miss me? I certainly missed this theme song, which makes me feel like I'm having a seizure and also about to fall asleep, somehow at the same time.
Speaking of falling asleep, we have to listen to everyone recap what happened last episode like ten times. I know the show took a week off, but come on. First up, Jim is filling Hallie in over Skype. He makes her swear their conversation is off the record like 500 times because you can't trust a journalist! They are evil.
Jim says that everyone in the opening credits was planning to resign from ACN, but then Jane Fonda wouldn't let Will, Charlie, and MacKenzie resign so they didn't. Hallie can't BELIEVE this. "This is unprecedented!!" she says. You know what else is unprecedented? The number of conversations this "couple" have over Skype while at work. Like, Jim is sprawled across that random staircase in the middle of the newsroom talking to her right now. Why? Also why not a phone call? Also why did he wait until several hours later and during work to tell her this at all?
Charlie and Will ask Marcia Gay Harden how they can quit their jobs. MGH says they can't; they're under contract with ACN and Jane Fonda will sue them for breach if they try. This makes Charlie explain to us all, again, why he wants to resign. Will, on the other hand, maintains that ACN's Genoa story was great. "If only it had been true," MGH smirks.
Charlie isn't getting enough attention so he screams "Hey! I'm not fucking around!" He says ACN lost all of its military sources and the Department of Defense won't talk to them anymore. "Do you think that's maybe because you falsely accused them of a heinous war crime?" MGH says. Great, now she's telling us what we already know. MGH and Charlie agree that ACN's credibility has disappeared.
"One less thing we have to worry about," Will says, apparently being "jovial." I mean, I didn't get "jovial" from that, but Charlie did and asks him what's up. Will responds that he has appointed himself in charge of morale.
"We aired a doctored tape – " Charlie begins and I KNOW I SAW THE SHOW. Even if I hadn't, I would've known from that last 20 times Charlie said it in the last two minutes. "We have gone to the ZOO!" Charlie says. I hope they didn't go to the San Diego Zoo, which closes its Hummingbird Aviary earlier than the rest of the park and I didn't know and by the time I got there all excited to walk around with hummingbirds the door was locked. That zoo sucks. I'm going to the Bronx Zoo this weekend and it's going to be so much better.