Nina points out that Will spent the last six months trying to take the Tea Party down. Will says it's not the same because he didn't succeed since they all got voted into Congress and also because the Tea Party is Evil and Wrong and Will is Good and Right. "These are people who are asking for our votes," he says. Wait, so does that mean Nina's hit piece would be okay if it was about a contestant on Big Brother or American Idol? By the way -- you know who doesn't ask to be on television all the time? The majority of the people Will has reported on in his career, I'd bet. You know who does? Reality show contestants. Will says he tries to report about things that "are of national importance." Nina says the world should know the truth about Brittany's secret daughter. "It's entertainment," Nina says. Will says it's wrong, but there's hope for Nina. "You can be part of the change. You don't have to write gossip," Will says; "I'm not putting you down. I'm just saying that what you do is a really bad form of pollution. It makes us dumber and meaner and is destroying civilization." Because no one ever gossiped before gossip magazines were created. "I would have more respect for you if you were a heroin dealer," Will says. "Fuck you," Nina says, showing admirable restraint. "You just passed up a sure thing," she adds, because she is on the side of Evil and Wrong and therefore is also slutty. She tries to walk away, but Will grabs her arm. This show gets more and more like 7th Heaven every week. Jeff Daniels is even starting to look like RevCam. My recapping life is coming full circle.
While Will and poor Nina bicker, Wade, MacKenzie, and Sloan watch from afar. MacKenzie says Will is "trying to civilize" Nina like she's a feral child. "That's not gonna work out well," Sloan says. Nina throws her drink in Will's face. No one ever does this. No one. It only happens on TV shows written by people who aren't as clever as they think they are or that one episode of 30 Rock that was an episode of Queen of Jordan.
Even though Will is covered in champagne, Neal thinks this is a good time to introduce him to Keylee. He then tries to convince Will that Bigfoot is real. "Get the hell away from me," Will asks.
The next day or the day after or maybe it's March at this point since this show does like to skip around, Charlie calls Will into his office to show him the latest Page Six column in the New York Post. Will says he hasn't seen today's issue yet since he's too good for that kind of thing, but Charlie thinks he might want to make an exception today. Headline: "Anchor Rancor: Will McAvoy Gropes in the New Year." Yes, Will's non-dalliance with Nina Howard was reported to Page Six, including how she threw champagne all over the nuevo-liberal's $4,000 custom-made tuxedo. Will is quick to clear up the inaccuracies in the article: he still thinks he's a Republican but acknowledges that the fact that he's cool with the gays might make people think he's liberal. The fact that he knows his party has a problem with gays and doesn't himself but still prefers to be in the same company of people who do makes him an asshole, by the way. Will didn't grope Nina, and his tuxedo wasn't custom made. He says this all happened because he was trying to "fight the good fight." Charlie asks why he was fighting any fight. "I'm on a mission to civilize!" Will says; "progress is slow."