MacKenzie reveals her three new rules for News Night 2.0 stories: 1) Is this information we need in the voting booth? 2) Is this the best possible form of the argument? And 3) Is the story in historical context? Holy crap, that is a boring list. MacKenzie doesn't think the morons on her staff will be able to remember all three rules, so she suggests a mnemonic device and then realizes that every rule starts with the same letter. Between this and the email, MacKenzie is terrible at letters this week.
Gary Cooper thinks they should just open with the BP spill again and how Obama has let four days go by thus far without commenting on it. This annoys Kendra, the only other black person on the staff (Gary Cooper is black), because black people fighting over Obama is so funny. MacKenzie asks her teacher's pet, Jim, to change the subject back to the Arizona law. Jim, whose shaggy hair and slouching sitting posture makes him look even more like Jim Halpert than last week, explains to everyone what the law says and that the governor will be signing the bill today. They have nine minutes with the governor to talk to Will, which is a big exclusive MacKenzie credits to Governor Brewer's respect for her new News Night 2.0 system. The studio will be a courtroom, and the guests will be expert witnesses and Will will act as the attorney for both sides. "You'll be amazed at the guests we'll book," MacKenzie says, somehow thinking that people like being interrogated on the air and audiences like to watch it.
Some guy who hasn't been paying attention to anything MacKenzie just said (can't blame him) suggests booking "one of those crazy militia guys" for the crazy anti-illegal immigrant side. MacKenzie says that breaks Rule 2 about the best possible form of the argument. Don finally speaks up to ask MacKenzie what happens if the other side is so ridiculous that there's no one sane to represent it. MacKenzie is delighted to report that sometimes there won't be another side. Sometimes, there will be lots of other sides. It's unwritten Rule 4: are there really two sides to this story? I hope there's another side to this particular story, because the one I'm watching right now is kind of awful.
Neal speaks up to change the topic back to immigration. But first, Will informs him that his name means "blue jewel." Neal beams, such is his love for Will. "I didn't know that!" Neal says. "I did. I took the time. I care," Will says. "Are you asking him out?" Don asks. Will asks Don to exposit why he's still working on this show. Don says MacKenzie asked him to stay on and help News Night transition from being a show that people enjoyed to being informative and unwatchable. Don will apparently do this by sitting around judging everything. MacKenzie orders Will to apologize. Will does so half-heartedly. Don doesn't really care anyway. Moving on.